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Anna Huckabee Tull
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Out of the Blue

11/3/2016

20 Comments

 

Alzheimer's: Losing my dad

PictureMe and my dad, in his final hours
Two months ago, my dad died. The experience of losing him was slow and gradual, because he had Alzheimer's Disease. It was also quick, because the difference between near-death and actual death turns out to be pretty sudden and profound. But above all, my dad's death felt magical to me, because loving my dad was always a magical experience, from the time I was tiny and he was creating birthday magic shows, Halloween haunted houses, treasure hunts to the town dump and movies starring us kids, until the very late stages of his life with this challenging disease when he was asking me deep and caring questions about my view of the world. His death felt magical because it ended with singing. My mom, sister, brother and I all held hands around his bedside and sang "Dona Nobes Pacem" ("Bring Us Peace") - a favorite round in my family - in his final hours. What follows is one song about my dad and mom, in honor of National Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month, and two others to round out the story of my dad and my family's journey with Alzheimer's.


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Beauty In Me

9/9/2013

3 Comments

 
TOPIC: Navigating Through Pain into Self-Discovery

Waking Up to Your Own Beauty

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There is magic all OVER the story of this song.

When Rose approached me at the end of a yoga class where I had been playing interpretive guitar, neither of us could have imagined the journey we were about to take, together and separately, in the bringing to life of this song. Rose says, "It feels so good to FEEL again," with an acknowledgement that this song helped that to happen in her life. There have been 4 (!!) magical things that have occurred already (!!) regarding this song and its short life. And probably more to come, we if keep our eyes open, now that it is "out there" and ready to meet the world...

"Beauty In Me" - Free Download
File Size: 5860 kb
File Type: mp3
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Of Grace and Gratitude

3/15/2013

4 Comments

 
TOPIC: WAKING UP INSIDE YOURSELF

A Journey Into a Deeper Place of Gratitude From Within

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This week I completed the 200th song I've written and recorded in the studio! And I wanted to share with you that I've discovered that the one song I listen to the most of all, out of all of those two hundred--the one I am moved by, on a regular basis, is one I created just last year, entitled, "Of Grace and Gratitude."
"Of Grace and Gratitude" - Free Download
File Size: 5990 kb
File Type: mp3
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Angels On Us

2/13/2013

6 Comments

 
TOPIC: Anna in a Blinding Snowstorm, Driving Toward the One She Loves

Love, After Taking a Breath and Entering Back In

"Angels On Us" - Free Download
File Size: 4236 kb
File Type: mp3
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Anna Huckabee Tull: Love All Over the Place
This month I am sending you a song of LOVE that starts in a BLIZZARD of "nothing but white" and celebrates what it means to keep on reminding ourselves to REACH FORWARD, even when we find ourselves pulling back from love and connection. Read on to learn the story.


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Bright Eyes - An Update

1/30/2013

4 Comments

 
TOPIC: A Father Dies of Lou Gehrig's Disease and Leaves Behind a Song for his Daughter

A Fond Farewell From A Father "Locked In" With ALS

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Yesterday at 1:30 PM Andy Eddowes gave up his long struggle with ALS/Lou Gehrig's Disease and quietly passed away.

Today I want to share with you the song Andy created with me for his 12-year-old daughter, despite the fact that he was unable to speak or move, because of his disease.    
"Bright Eyes" - Free Download
File Size: 4018 kb
File Type: mp3
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Dare to Rise

1/23/2013

11 Comments

 
TOPIC: A Song That Invites You to See Life All Around You, Anew

What Would Happen if You Dared to Rise?

I once heard a woman speak, and what she had to say was so powerful that it it instantaneously and dramatically changed almost everything about the way I eat, that very day. And I have deeply, meaningfully stayed with this shift, two full years later. 

Not long after that, I was asked by this same woman to partner with her to create a song that honors the Unitarian Universalist principal, "Honor All Beings." It took longer for me to write this song than any song I have ever written in my life - months and months and months. 

But from the moment it was finally created, this song started spreading to new places. It made its way all the 
"Dare to Rise" - Free Download
File Size: 7687 kb
File Type: mp3
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Tell the Truth

6/6/2012

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TOPIC: Coming to grips with being honest with self
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"Tell the Truth" - Free Download
File Size: 3950 kb
File Type: mp3
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TELL THE TRUTH
Anna Huckabee Tull & Ksenia Mack

I've been being held hostage by my desire to tell you
Something other than what's been going down
And I believe this is costing me just a little bit more than
I believe I need to charge myself this time around

I been messing with the pieces
Trying to get myself to believe this (tell)
Tell the truth now (oh, tell)
Tell the truth now.

I've been being held hostage by my desire to paint some
Oil on canvas of me farther down the road than I am
And I believe this is robbing me of my ability
To just explore the good fortune of all that I can

I've been measuring relief out
With an eye-drop and a tweezer, now (tell)
Tell the truth now (I got to, got to, got to tell)
Tell the truth now.

And I don't have to wait 'till someone asks me
And I don't have to wait for catastrophe to comes to pass here
And I don't need a crisis in order to come forth
And I don't need to be the one I 'm waiting for (tell)
I can tell the truth now (I can tell)
I can tell the truth now.

And I don't have to wait 'till someone asks me
And I don't have to wait for catastrophe to come to pass here
And I don't need a crisis just to come forth
And I can go if I'm the only one I was...waiting for
To tell the truth now...I'll tell the tell the tell the tell
I can tell the truth now.
Tell!


(c) Anna Huckabee Tull & Ksenia Mack
Anna Huckabee Tull: Open Now
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Cynthia

6/6/2012

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TOPIC: Grieving the loss of a sister who struggled with mental illness and died early
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"Cynthia" - Free Download
File Size: 8894 kb
File Type: mp3
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The Blessing

1/1/2012

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A Mother Copes with the Loss of Her Unborn Baby

TOPIC: Miscarriage
"The Blessing" - Free Download
File Size: 6261 kb
File Type: mp3
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PictureThe flower: Daphne
THE STORY
I get invited along on some pretty intense journeys with commissioned songwriting. This one took me to a place few people even talk about beyond the boundaries of quiet whispers and private family conversations. Jen came to me two years ago asking for a song to help her heal. She and her husband Dan had one child and were in the process of trying to conceive another. But they had been beset by a painful miscarriage which seemed both to stand in the way of Jen's moving forward toward conception again, and, too, of Jen's ability to feel the support of Dan. Jen brought her journals and the one book I have ever seen containing poetry about miscarriage to the song-interview. It was at that point that it hit me how very "unspoken" this kind of loss can be in our culture. She described to me the circumstances of her miscarriage, the shock, the sadness, the confusion, the doubt. And then she told me of how she had made the decision to plant some flowers--called daphnes--in her garden as a way of commemorating the life that was lost. I was particularly struck by the image of a flower rising up each year come spring, and that image became a central piece of the song.


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Shafi's Song

1/1/2012

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TOPIC: Husband reaches out to wife who wants to leave

When a spouse wants to leave

"Shafi's Song" - Free Download
File Size: 7034 kb
File Type: mp3
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"John" came to me, deeply concerned. His wife was thinking about leaving him after many years together, and he wanted a song that would celebrate her and persuade her to stay. What we ended up with, though, was a surprise to both of us. Our song-interview journey pointed the way to an unexpected question: What if John stopped trying to persuade, and instead sought to deeply understand his wife's predicament by "walking a mile in her shoes."  What emerged was profoundly moving to him, and to me as well. And wait till you see what international harpist Deborah Henson-Conant brought to the mix when we took the song, and Deborah, into the studio!

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