<![CDATA[Custom Crafted Songs

<![CDATA[Custom Crafted Songs - All Songs]]>Sat, 02 May 2026 20:03:32 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Out of the Blue]]>Thu, 03 Nov 2016 15:10:41 GMThttps://www.customcraftedsongs.com/listen/out-of-the-blueAlzheimer's: Losing my dad

Me and my dad, in his final hours

Two months ago, my dad died. The experience of losing him was slow and gradual, because he had Alzheimer's Disease. It was also quick, because the difference between near-death and actual death turns out to be pretty sudden and profound. But above all, my dad's death felt magical to me, because loving my dad was always a magical experience, from the time I was tiny and he was creating birthday magic shows, Halloween haunted houses, treasure hunts to the town dump and movies starring us kids, until the very late stages of his life with this challenging disease when he was asking me deep and caring questions about my view of the world. His death felt magical because it ended with singing. My mom, sister, brother and I all held hands around his bedside and sang "Dona Nobes Pacem" ("Bring Us Peace") - a favorite round in my family - in his final hours. What follows is one song about my dad and mom, in honor of National Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month, and two others to round out the story of my dad and my family's journey with Alzheimer's.

WHAT GOES AWAY?

A whole lot goes away with the ravages of Alzheimer's. You have no idea how many things are tied to memory until you watch memories become slowly loosened and unmoored. We watched my dad forget little things, then bigger things, then entire decades at a time. It felt sometimes like his brain had become like Swiss cheese - one minute he would be on solid ground and remember that we had lived in New Jersey, say, and other times all ten years of that experience had evaporated - only to return mysteriously (sometimes) on a different day. No one saw and experienced the losses as much as my mom. My parents - college sweethearts - were almost never apart, so when these changes happened day by day, my mom felt the blow on a deep, visceral level.

Last year, I offered to co-create a song with my mom on the topic of her choosing. She chose for us to make a song for the many new friends she had found through her Alzheimer's support group. She saw this song as a chance to give voice to what it feels like to deal with such profound losses, day after day, and to keep seeking and savoring the spark and the connection, all the way along.

I created the song "Out of the Blue" based on a short piece of the same name that my mom (author of the book "All My Mamas") had just written. We followed it up with an in-depth song interview together, and off I went to compose. I presented her song to her one weekend in New York City when my family was gathered (sadly without my dad, who could no longer travel) to celebrate my mom's 80th birthday. It felt poignant to perform it with so much of my extended family gathered. But my dad's absence - that booming, joyful laugh and his eternal curious inquiry - loomed large. There were very few dry eyes in the room.

I have only shared this song with a few people so far, but I am so pleased to share it with you now in honor of National Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month. It speaks to my desire to raise awareness in all of us about what a challenging experience this disease serves up, not only for the patient, but for the primary caregiver as well. My mom was an ASTONISHING bright light and steady presence for nearly a decade with my dad - driven, by love and devotion, to re-calibrate over and over again to help maximize my dad's sense of connection and independence. Inspired by that, my son Ben made this heroic "Superwoman" rendering of my mom, with my dad, on one of their last visits to our home.

OUT OF THE BLUE
Dedicated to Alzheimer's Caregivers Everywhere

These days are not like all the others
You’re over there and you’ve forgotten almost all of
What we had and what we said and what we did
And I’m left holding all the bits
And you’re adrift and I’m adrift

I try to make things feel familiar
I sit there by your side and tell you all the news
About the people you once knew and we make the
Sounds we used to make
Same cadence; same pace
And you don’t know what it means
We’re still talking but I’m watching you recede

And then of the blue I see some little glimpse of you
The essence of the man I’ve always known
And then out of the blue I feel my own heart wake up too
It seems I only know the deepest part of me
In fleeting moments like these when I can see
The rare sweet sweetness of you

These days are not like all the others
I know you’re fading as I’m watching and I’m waiting
Yes I’m standing on the shore that we once shared
Growing stronger, growing sadder, growing scared
But I keep speaking because we both
Remember the sounds of the language
Of our love

Forever out of the blue I will hold memories of you
The essence the man I’ve always known
I will carry the truth of the love I have for you
Wherever, wherever I go
I am filled with all I know
Of loving you

WHAT REMAINS?

It's very simple, I have found. What remains is love. When everything else is peeled back - all the memories, all the stories, all the situational elements - what gets uncovered are feelings pure and resilient and beautiful, flowing both ways. One powerful example of this was a couple of years ago, when I invited my dad, who was pretty deep into Alzheimer's by then, to write a song with me that he could gift to my mom for Christmas. He was well past the point of going out and buying a gift, but I knew there was so much in his heart left to say.

We did a song interview where I moved, conversationally, very gently, at his new "Alzheimer's speed," even if it sometimes involved repetitions or confusions. What emerged was quite incredible. I was amazed to discover how very much he remembered about my parents' early courtship years, in particular. "I loved her at first sight" he told me. I had never heard this before, and it became the opening line of the song. Too, he was keenly aware of how very much my mom was doing to take care of him, and wanted to be sure she knew it. I took careful notes and tried to catch his words exactly - to fit them into something unique to him, specifically for my mom. A few months later, when I returned with this simple recording of the song, my dad was no longer able to remember that we were working on a project together, that he had sat for this song interview, or what it was he might have said. But when I played the recording for him be burst into sobs. "This is me!" he said, with tears streaming down his cheeks. "I said these things! This is exactly what I want to say to your mother!"

SHE WALKS IN BEAUTY
For Colleen at Christmas, 2013, with Love From Bill

I loved you at first sight
And I have loved you ever since
And I will love you for the rest of my life

I love the way you love me
To me, you are love
The way you make your place beside me for us

And you have always
Walked in Beauty
That is what I see
You have always
Walked in Beauty
And you are so beautiful to me

I love the way you look out for others
And the way they turn to you
I know what that feels like, through and through

And I love the way you give and give to me
Especially of late
And I will love you for the rest of my life
Every day
Every day

And you have always
Walked in Beauty
That is what I see
You have always
Walked in Beauty
And you are so beautiful to me

Can you see? What a blessing
Can you see? Such a blessing
Can you see
How beautiful you are to me...

On Christmas morning, we presented the song to my mom. Once again, it was new all over again for my dad. He was hearing it "for the first time." And yet, once again, he cried, and he knew... He could hear himself and the truth of his love in these words. Having this song has turned out to be a mainstay for my mom - a way to hear the specifics of his love and appreciation for her, in words that became no longer easy for him to put together on his own.

WHAT IS REGAINED?
The night my dad died, there was a gigantic full moon, we had all just been in the room with him, and his physical state clearly demonstrated that it was time. Even so, I was unprepared for the utter SLAM to my system that I felt about ten minutes after he was gone. The room began to spin and I felt like I was literally coming unhinged. I felt shaky and weak - completely unmoored - like every single cell in my body was desperately trying to reconcile the reality of what I had clearly seen coming for months and even years. His presence had suddenly, irrevocably, become an absence.

I think that makes it just that much more amazing that so much of what happened in the next few days turned out to be an unexpected resurrection. Some longtime family friends, one of whom is the UU minister Carol Haag, just happened to be arriving for a visit the following day. Carol and her husband Carl sat with me, my mom, my brother and my sister and invited each of us, one after another, to talk about who my dad was. Slowly, piece by piece, I watched the man who had been so vibrant, such a creative and loving force, become resurrected in place of that frail and confused man I had had to say goodbye to a few short hours before. No longer bound by that final image of him, much more lively, hilarious, impressive images, memories, and feelings began to spring forth. The familiar stories rekindled a feeling of connection, and the new ones I had never heard began teaching me yet more about how someone can continue to unfold before you even after they are no longer on this earth.

My dad's memorial service was a standing-room only packed house! Each member of the family got up to speak or give a reading, including my two teenage sons, Ben and Sam. I performed "Out of the Blue" and then sang harmonies while my niece Mara did a beautiful job singing the lead vocals on "She Walks in Beauty." We rounded out the music by my getting to sing three-part harmonies with my brother, Al and my sister Amy on one of the Simon and Garfunkel songs dad was always playing in the house throughout our New Jersey childhood: "Leaves that are Green." I had never stood up and sung like that with my siblings before, and I was delighted at the way it so easily came together. On my own, I have performed original songs at many funerals and memorial services, and one of my great challenges has always been trying to remain composed and not feel too deeply the ache of the words and melody. But on this day, it was different. I was filled, from bottom to top, with great joy! Our singing did not make me sad at all! I felt my dad everywhere in the room, in all the faces of his friends who had traveled from afar or from right down the hall. I saw him in the pictures we had laid out. And I felt him delighting in all we had to say about him, and singing along. One of the attendees sent me this video of that moment. It's rough, and taken from afar, but I treasure it and am happy to share it here for those die-hard listeners who are still reading along!

We closed out the event with my incredibly inspirational and loving mom leading the entire room in singing "Dona Nobis Pacem" in a round. "Bring Us Peace" is a big request, but the most sacred and important request any of us can make, in my opinion. And on that day, knowing my dad's difficult journey was complete, and singing from the most joyful place within my heart to help usher all the members of my larger family into whatever comes next, I did not feel I even needed to ask. Peace was already here.

May it remain.

ABOUT THE ARTIST
Anna Huckabee Tull is an Award-Winning Singer-Songwriter, a longtime Life Coach, and the author of the upcoming 2017 book Living the Deeper YES. She has one of the coolest jobs on the planet, creating original songs of love, loss, birth, growth, and celebration for individuals all over the US - and the world - who feel called to commission and co-create a song. Anna lives in the woods of Concord, Mass with her supportive and dashing husband and her two lively and creative teenage boys. She performs monthly in a psych ward lockdown unit and teaches guitar to prison inmates.

OF SPECIAL NOTE: The Colonial Sound Studio recording of "Out of the Blue" marked the first time I collaborated musically with my 16-year-old son Ben, who composed and recorded all of the additional instrumentation on that song. Even at just sixteen, he has the gift!! I have been watching Ben compose and engineer much of the music for his original short films, and have been quite blown away. Check out his movie "Multi Tool" for which he created all 25 tracks of the opening soundtrack, as well as just about everything else (special effects galore). Or check out any of the other many movies on his Legacy Films YouTube Channel and you'll see what I mean.

If you have been touched by the experience of dementia or Alzheimer's in a loved one, please consider posting here. And thanks for listening! - Anna

]]><![CDATA[Teddy's Song]]>Tue, 12 Apr 2016 00:51:46 GMThttps://www.customcraftedsongs.com/listen/teddys-songA Unique Adoption Love Song

This month's song is written in the voice of newly adoptive mother Deb to her newborn son Teddy. It's a love song of grand proportions, because the story of Deb and Teddy is far from your typical adoption story (if there even is such a thing!) And it is one that I have gotten to see from an up-close vantage point for the past several years, as this story has meandered, halted and faltered at bit in places, and is now experiencing it own kind of "full bloom."

A few years ago, and for many years before that, Deb was a beloved life coaching client of mine. We did great work together, helping her art gallery to become the flourishing success it is today. But the real work of her heart began in earnest when we came to know together that what she wanted most in the world was to be a mom.

Single, but brave and increasingly clear and ready, Deb began, inch by inch, to enter into the process of adoption as a single mom. You make a picture book, you pour your authentic self into the creation of its pages, and you trust that some young pregnant mother will feel called to choose your book, your story, your heart, over all the other eager adoptive-parents-to-be. You navigate numerous in-home visits. You explain to surprised friends and family about the journey you are hoping to embark on. And then you wait. And wait. And wait. All the while, you do your very best to hold an open place in your heart for this unknown visitor who you simply have to trust is moving toward you somehow, even as you doubt and wonder.

In Deb's case, while she waited, and waited, and waited, far away in her home in Portsmouth, I found myself sitting around on one particular day, thinking of her and her wait. Our "coach and client" work was done (everything but the waiting, that is!) But when I have opened my heart to someone, it stays open, even after the work has shifted or completed. So there I sat, thinking of her, feeling for her, holding a space. And this little "sound of waiting" just started coming forward through my guitar. It was not a commissioned song. No one was officially requesting it. I did not record it in a studio with a budget. No bells and whistles at all. It was just this little, simple arrival from someplace far away, which I recorded on my computer as I sat there. Something about it captures, for me, that experience of feeling so far away from what you want, yet locating the awareness that somewhere, somewhere inside of you, some part of you is holding out a space for something truer. More of what you imagine you most want and maybe, maybe, could have.

CLOSER
For Deb

Waiting
For everything to fall
Into place
So I can see your face
And erase
All this waiting

Waiting in a state of grace
Afraid to stay
Afraid to make each next move
But I do
'Cause I keep on believing
That it is bringing me

Closer to you
Closer to you
Closer to you

And I
Am getting closer too

I sent the song to Deb, and she shared with me that it was deeply meaningful to her to feel so "seen" in her waiting. So many of us are waiting, in one way or another, and it can be invisible to those around us.
Many, many more days passed. The waiting continued.
When Deb got the call she had long been dreaming of, things happened astonishingly fast. One minute she was pondering whether or not she had it in her to follow this path indefinitely, and the next she was scrambling to pack a bag. Her new baby-to-be was being born, early: right then! She met up with her own mother, my good friend Sandy, and off the two of them sailed to Connecticut, just in time to be present for this miraculous birth.

And it was miraculous. And beautiful. And here, before she even had time to take a deep breath, was her beautiful son! She was filled with the wonder of life, gazing down at this bright-eyed little babe. Her heart opened, filled, flowed over on itself and outward in all directions. Here he is! The natural and beautiful end-point of all this waiting.

While she was signing the adoption papers, Deb learned that Teddy was going to need open heart surgery immediately. That his prognosis was unclear. That the road ahead was not a simple one. There were unforeseen complications.

I think this was a moment of truth for Deb. A life-changing one. Not because she carefully considered the options and made a thoughtful choice. But rather, because she knew the answer before issue was even raised. She was already in love. Teddy was already her son. The road before her was already not about deciding "in or out." It was about walking this path with this beloved boy. She had known him all of a few hours but already there was nothing to consider. Her mother echoed these same sentiments fully and completely. Little Teddy was already family. All doubts, uncertainties, what-ifs and second guesses had been left in the dust the very moment that Deb and Teddy connected. Such is the wonder and the beauty and the simple world-clarifying miracle of love.

The month that followed was like nothing anyone could have predicted. Deb got to learn every day how deeply her love ran, how frightening it can feel to step into the unknown, and be in the hands of doctors so fully. She got to know how intense and powerful it is to be so connected to another human being that everything else recedes into the background. (all of this occurred with her own mother, connected to her every bit as deeply, right by her side, every single day of that long and intense hotel-and-hospital month.)

A few months later, when the eye of the storm had passed and Teddy was home getting stabilized, I met with Deb to do an interview for a song for Teddy. Sandy had created a song for each of her other two grandchildren a decade before (children of her son and daughter-in-law, Andy and Michelle--Your Family for Jonah in and Great Big Heart for Ella. And now it was Deb's turn to create and receive a song or her son.

Driving up for the song interview, I hadn't seen Deb in over a year. I caught my first sight of her across a grassy field. She was pushing a stroller and I didn't recognize her at first. Everything about her energy seemed different to me.

SHE WAS A MOM! I could see it in the very arc of her movements, pushing that stroller and talking into the little bed within it.

At the song interview, I heard her give voice to what was plainly written all over her face. The wonder, the surprise of all the twists and turns and lifts and unexpected warm moments of living inside of love each day. The rightness of all the paths she had walked to get just exactly here. And her astonishment at how much MORE ASTONISHING it was than she had foreseen, even.

The song we created together is called "Teddy's Song." I played it live for Deb and her mom (and Teddy!) recently. Teddy was completely alert and engaged in his little bouncy chair as I played, and when I hit the last note his little hand raised up the air and he yelled out "Gaaaaa!" with such lightness and joy that I felt delight well up inside me! "Thank you for getting this song so right" Deb wrote to me, in an email afterward.

It was such a profound honor to get to write this song, having known about the IDEA of Teddy in the earliest moments of Deb's awareness. I got to watch her awaken to the unfolding of her journey as a mom--unexpected, unforeseen requiring deep courage and belief.

Teddy is an astonishing little creature. Just being near him is an experience in feeling lighter. Last winter when he was born, his ability to make it through multiple surgeries amazed everyone at the hospital, and it escaped no one's notice that his simple presence drew everyone in this hospital in. Everyone seemed to have fallen in love with him. Everyone was rooting for him.

His eyes shine wide and bright. He looks right into you! And he has a lightness and an effortless beauty that makes him seem like an old soul. When Deb started to put words to her love for him, during the song interview, I felt the whole room expand!

More recently he has gone back to the hospital for a few more procedures, to make sure he stays on track. Each time, Deb plays him his song. I love telling you that it's like magic to him. He has heard it countless times now, and when he is upset, Deb tells me this is the one solution that soothes him right back to calm, every single time. And why wouldn't it? It is filled with the energy of years worth of waiting, and the joyous conclusion of that waiting in the form of an unbreakable bond of love between him and his mom. He is a little wonder, and somehow, I just know that some part of him hears all of that in his song, and it touches him in that deepest place.

This song is for Teddy, and Deb, and Sandy, whose generous support has brought this music, these thoughts, and so much else to life. It is for you, too. For the place in you that holds a dream. Maybe that dream seems unlikely, or far away. But it's in there, and it's yours, and the possibilities, when you truly engage with it, can be unexpected, revelatory and life-altering. This song is for the fighter in you, too. The place within you that is strong enough to sail through the likes of heart surgeries within minutes of your first showing up on the planet. And it's for the love inside of you: the love that was put there by those who raised you, the love you call on when you reach out to love another. And the love you will always have, deep inside you, flowing inward and outward, for all the days of your life.

TEDDY'S SONG

Open your eyes from the sweetest sleep
And all of the light inside you
Shines from those eyes so wide and deep
And everyone sees it, and feels their heart believe it
The miracle of you

You have a light so strong and bright inside you
And oh how it shines my boy
Shining so tender and bright inside you
You bring new meaning to the meaning of life
By shining so bright

And you were always on your way
And I’ve been heading always towards you
I will be grateful every day
For you, for you

Open your eyes and see my love
All of the light inside me
There is a whole new world because
Of the way that I find you; the way that you find me

‘Cause you have a light so strong and bright inside you
And oh how it shines my boy
Lighting up all the other hearts around you
You bring new meaning to the meaning of life
By shining so bright

And we’ll be always on our way
To all the futures we’ll create
For all the paths that we will clear
I’m just so glad you’re here, so glad you’re here
We are so glad you’re here

Anna Huckabee Tull is an award-winning Singer-Songwriter and Life Coach. "Teddy's Song" was recorded at Wellspring Sound in Acton, MA. Anna fulfilled a long-time dream of her own by recording this song with the profoundly talented Oen Kennedy (!!) on all acoustic guitar parts. Eric Kilburn performed fretless bass and mixed the song. As always, he did a bang-up job of helping tenderness align with crafty, exacting precision.

]]><![CDATA[ANNA'S BOOK COMING OUT THIS SUMMER]]>Wed, 21 Oct 2015 21:39:05 GMThttps://www.customcraftedsongs.com/listen/annas-book-to-be-published-by-balboa-press

My book is very close to completion now!
If you'd like to pre-order, please email
AnnaHuckabeeTull@comcast.net

In 2015 I won a proposal-writing contest with my favorite publisher: Hay House
In a few months, my book will be out!
It includes a Foreword by the author of one of Penguin's best-selling book of all time (Douglas Stone, Difficult Conversations) and the early reviews are so exciting I just had to share a few:

If you'd like to pre-order, please email
AnnaHuckabeeTull@comcast.net

]]><![CDATA[Forever More]]>Sun, 13 Sep 2015 15:27:36 GMThttps://www.customcraftedsongs.com/listen/forever-more1A Song Hidden within a Song

This is a song that you probably know, hidden stealthily inside a song that you've never heard before. And in both cases, they are songs about that unbridled, expansive feeling of being utterly transported (by LOVE!)
Jim came to me to create a song for Nancy, with whom he was, plain to see, over the moon in love. Their connection was new, and he was positively jubilant! I have known him for a good while now, and I had never seen him like this! It was a wonderful thing to behold, I gotta tell ya! He was practically skipping.

WANTING TO SAY WHAT YOU CAN'T SAY
Jim told me how his feelings for Nancy grew so fast, he could barely keep up with them. Early in the

relationship, they found themselves in his car together and she asked him to tell her about a singing group he was part of, and very passionate about. "What kinds of songs do you sing?" she asked him. A simple enough question...

He explained that the group picked classics out of a songbook in a sing-along format. But Nancy wanted to know more. "Which songs? I think you should sing one for me."

Jim scanned the various song options in his mind. And then he had a Eureka moment. One song stood out for him, partly because he had always liked it a lot (it is a classic.) But partly because he was aware of how very much he cared for Nancy already--how strong his feelings for her were, how overwhelming it would probably be for her for him to try to communicate this to her so soon, and yet how PERFECTLY the lyrics of this particular song captured the fullness of the feelings he felt for her, but did not yet dare put to words.

So there they sat, in the car, eyes sparkling, looking right into one another, while Jim sang to Nancy the Frank Sinatra tune, "Fly Me to the Moon."

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

It was a life-changing moment for both of them.

By the time Jim came to me to commission this song, the two of them no longer needed the "middle man" of Sinatra lyrics in order to share with one another how they felt. Their love was as as iridescent as a full moon! And yet Jim wanted to do something wonderful for Nancy, so he told me their story, the depths of his feelings for her, and his hopes and dreams for where they were headed together. He asked me to weave it all together and create an original song that he could present to her, which I took great delight in doing.

Somehow, I just could not resist sneaking "Fly Me to the Moon" into their song! If you listen closely, even though I have altered the melody, you will find it in there. It's an homage--to the glory of a truly well-written song (thanks, Frank). And, even more so, to the wonders of love--to the way it opens our hearts, and minds, and expands our sense of possibility, and sense of what can be shared, and what it means to feel truly, as Jim described to me about the way he felt--and feels--in Nancy's presence: fully and completely seen.

Forever More
For Nancy, with love from Jim

Who could believe I could feel so seen
Who could believe knowing you could feel this easy
Who could believe I could see all the beauty in you I see
I could believe

Because you fill my heart with song
Oh, let me sing forever more
You are all I’ve longed for
All I worship and adore
And I long to tell you
Forever more

Who could believe my love could feel
So certain, gentle, real
Who could believe I could feel your love
Reach so deep inside of me
You could believe

You fill my heart with song
Oh let me sing forever more
You are all I’ve longed for
All I worship and adore
And I long to hold you
Forever more

And I could go anywhere
With you by my side
I could go all the way to the moon
Just like the moon I see in your eyes

Because you fill my heart with song
Oh, let me sing forever more
You are all I’ve longed for
It is you who has opened up this door
And I plan to love you
I want to love you
And let your love through
Forever more

IN THE RECORDING STUDIO
Jim and I were in total agreement about bringing in our good mutual friend, pianist Gail Carey. I love what she did with this song so much. We recorded a version with me singing it, which you hear here, and a "karaoke"-type version with spaces left for Jim to sing it to Nancy himself. Did she like it? She was...well.....over the moon! Flown there and back!

I like imagining that some day in the not too distant future I will be singing this one at their wedding. They are a lively, loving, joyful, supportive, vibrant couple. Two very special people made just that much more special by sharing the joys of life and love!

ABOUT THE ARTIST
Anna Huckabee Tull is an award-winning Singer-Songwriter and a devoted Life Coach. Gail Carey helps people all day long, therapeutically and musically! "Forever More" was joyfully recorded with Eric Kilburn at Wellspring Sound in Acton, MA.

]]><![CDATA[Coming Home to One Very Special Other]]>Wed, 28 Jan 2015 00:54:00 GMThttps://www.customcraftedsongs.com/listen/coming-home-to-one-very-special-otherI think the world of Bob Faw! He is an inspiring motivational speaker, a vibrant author, a loving partner to the lovely Zsuzsi and, as of a few weeks ago, a loving HUSBAND to her as well. On January 6th, after many years of copacetic togetherness, Bob and Zsuzsi tied the knot in an intimate, tropical, romantic setting, to the tune of "Coming Home," the song Bob surprised her with in the very moment that they were becoming husband and wife!

Bob was captivated by Zsuzsi the first time he ever saw her. Their initial conversation, on the steps of the Cambridge Courthouse, long and meaningful, left him feeing more SEEN than he had ever felt in his life. And his early interactions with Zsuzsi - watching her dance, with utter joy and abandon - left him spellbound. He remains spellbound to this day, and filled to overflowing with the joy of expressing his love for this life-changing woman. I loved watching him light up, talking about her. As a life coach myself, I was really moved by what he shared of Zsuzsi's therapeutic philosophy, captured in a sign on her office wall that says, simply, "All Parts Are Welcome!"

I have known Bob for many years. He and I were team-building facilitators together. He has been a long-time subscriber to Song of the Month and always knew, he had told me, that someday he would be commissioning a song. And then one day, it hit him that that day was upon him. As we talked, he shared with courage and depth, which is just, really who he is. Bob is brave. He is willing to step into the uncomfortable spaces where truth sometimes resides. Not with everyone, not always. But with Zsuzsi, especially. And, meaningfully, as the song began to come together, with me, there in my office that day. I was moved to hear him share more about his personal journey, and Zsuzsi's as well - his involving a long and winding road from a very challenging start in life to a pathway of clarity and empowerment. And hers involving a journey all the way from her native Hungary to America, where she found that her approach to therapy and connection and life was deeply embraced and encouraged. Both travelled great distances from where they began, and both found the joy of that journey deepen and bloom, when they discovered one another.

So! We got the song--a surprise for Zsuzsi--written and recorded in time. Bob sent me a text from their tropical paradise the day after they were wed. I had told him I'd be waiting with bated breath to get the word of how it went over with her. But I don't mind saying, I was pretty darn confident we had nailed it, just based on Bob's response the first time HE heard it. His comment then: WOW! WOW! WOW! Anna, this song is amazing!! It fits my feelings so beautifully, the time evokes mood wonderfully, and the production value is amazingly high. You have exceeded my already high expectations." His note from the tropics, then, when he had shared it with Zsuzsi read: "The song went beautifully during the wedding ceremony! Zsuzsi loves it so much! She said, "I have never been loved like this before." She felt very touched by it. This morning, the day after the ceremony, she was listening to the song and looking at the lyrics with tears in her eyes. Our friend said it sounds like the kind of song you can hear on the radio. Truly well done, Anna! You are amazingly talented."

As glorious as it feels to have someone tooting my horn (believe me, I will likely never tire of that) it always hits me on an even deeper level when that long-awaited MOMENT arrives and I learn that we have "made the connection." It's hard to explain. So often, I work in such a focused manner on a song, and then I am not present when it is delivered. My whole world is a little bit in a forward, expectant tilt, waiting, hoping, trusting, wondering. Did we do it? Did we take a feeling, and bring it to life well enough that it resonates? Makes somebody FEEL the love flowing toward them? Was the connection - the one we really, really wanted to make - MADE?

Well. It was. We did it. Now it's me with tears in my eyes. MAN, I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!

COMING HOME

Zsuzsi, I have never felt this alive
And you, you feel it deep inside
And we, we play the same way
All parts are welcome in the way that we play

It’s a feeling I had never known
With you I feel like I’m coming home

When I hear that laugh, you are where I want to be
And your voice, I still can’t believe the way it soothes me
Magic hands, I can feel your touch down to my core
And the way you dance: passion, power!
The world is yours to explore (all over the floor)

It’s a feeling I had never known
With you I feel like I’m coming home

And there is a part of me
I don’t always show
But somehow you just see it and you
Already know just where to go
To show me that I’m already home
Zsuzsi, it is you and me
Zsuzsi, you are my family

It’s a feeling I had never known
With you I am already home
No way to feel alone
We are home
Best home I have ever known

(c) 2015 Anna Huckabee Tull, CustomCraftedSongs.com

Congratulations you two, B and Z! You are off to a marital start that is inspirational to us all. You know and are living what we all must remember. Life is short. Love is huge. It needs to be nurtured, honored, tended, and taken out to the tropics once in awhile, where you can look one another in the eye and in answer to the question, "Do you FEEL it? answer: I DO!

]]><![CDATA[Lucky]]>Mon, 27 Oct 2014 18:36:58 GMThttps://www.customcraftedsongs.com/listen/luckyTOPIC: Saying Goodbye and Thank You

Allison has become nothing short of a tae kwon do master of creativity when it comes to thinking up inspired and meaningful projects for harnessing my songwriting powers!!! This is the fifth song project she has initiated (see others below), and each time, she comes up with really unusual and incredible requests that call me up to a higher level and create an intense and feeling-based bonding moment for the recipients.

This time, it had to do with daughters, and horses, and good byes. Allison's daughter, and her two friends, have spent the past many years growing increasingly bonded to a horse farm here in our community. They thought they'd be there forever, being mentored by their two incredible teachers, Mary and Gin. But the winds changed, and the horse farm arrangement came to an end. All were so, so sad to say good bye. And Allison and her daughter came up with the idea of creating a good-bye message from all three girls, to the two teachers, designed to hit a deeper, truer note with their message of thanks.

This rest of the story behind this month's song is SPOKEN rather than written! My son Ben and I created this video (another truly INSPIRED idea from Allison, actually!) to share with the recipients of this song last week before they actually heard the song for the first time, and....now...to share with YOU! OR

Here's the song in MP3 format, and also set to some pictures of the girls below:

Just in case you are wondering if the presentation of the song was a success - IT WAS!!! Allison had this to say: "The video and song couldn't have played more perfectly. We did it outside after dark using a projector. All worked well and the adults appreciated being in the dark to watch it, because everyone was bawling. It was perfectly touching and meaningful and a way to actually say what was in everyone's hearts but rarely gets expressed in a way that can be heard. So thank you. It was a complete home run!"

LUCKY
(c) 2014 Anna Huckabee Tull

To Gin and Mary: Our Feelings Run So Deep
With Love From Your Barn Girls

How could we ever say
A thank you big enough
For every single way
That you showed up, for us

You saw us as we were
And you saw something inside of us
And you pushed us on farther and farther
Iron fist and velvet glove

Guess we’re just lucky
To know all the things we do
Guess we’re just lucky
That the trail to knowing
And all this growing
Was made by you

And how could we three have guessed
All the moments we’d be called into
All the births and all the first times
And all the endings, too

Heart-breaking, heart-making
You will be a part of us wherever we go
Heart-breaking, heart-making
You were our home away from home
And we’ll be with you
Wherever you go

And we’re so lucky
To know all the things that we now do
Yeah we’re so lucky
That the trail to knowing
And all this growing
And all this love
That’s been flowing
Has come from you
Thank you

© 2014 Anna Huckabee Tull, CustomCraftedSongs.com

Special thanks to guitarist and harmony-creater Liz Rogers, 4-time Grammy winning cellist Eugene Friesen, studio pianist Jingjing Zhou, and studio mix-master Eric Kilburn! You guys are the best!

Here, for your listening (story-learning) pleasure, are the other songs Allison and I have created together - I love them ALL for entirely different reasons!
1. This Love - renewing vows
2. Once Upon a Dog - beloved pet
3. The Zip Line of Love - Having Fun with Mom (or at Mom's expense?! - ha)
4. Who You Are - a song from three kids to mom

As always, thanks for listening! Here's to LUCK showing up, at your invitation, in your life--rising up to make all the goodbye's meaningful and the thank-you's heartfelt, clarifying, and deep!

]]><![CDATA[Anna in concert and on TV]]>Fri, 01 Aug 2014 13:55:35 GMThttps://www.customcraftedsongs.com/listen/anna-in-concert-and-on-tv

More of Anna's music on the video page >>

]]><![CDATA[Who You Are]]>Fri, 09 May 2014 00:30:46 GMThttps://www.customcraftedsongs.com/listen/who-you-areA Song for All Moms on Mother's Day

Dear Moms, everywhere, all across the planet,

Old and young, tired and refreshed, brave and scared.

We are your children.
We are the people you labored to bring here,
The ones who needed you desperately, at times,
And the ones who needed to push out beyond you, at other times.

This song is for all of you. Enjoy!

Read on to learn the Story Behind the Song...

THE STORY BEHIND THE SONG
The song "Who You Are" was a gift from three teenagers, Ben, Rangel, and Talia, to their mom Allison, for her birthday this past year. The song interview was just the three of them, and me, in my living room. When I asked them to tell me things about their mom, at first I got silence. And then, eventually, after maybe a little more silence, I got what turned out to be a hilarious list of things I could not imagine how I would fit into a touching, lovely song. (She is unable to flair her nostrils. She hates malls. She used to referee pajama races when the kids were little. And once, in Mexico, she forgot to use the breaks on a zip-line and slammed into the little attendant at the bottom. Hmmmm. What to do here?) Sometimes, I thought to myself, the songs kids might want to write and the songs moms might want to hear are, well, different, maybe. Just a touch.

Eventually, though, when we had worked through all the silly stuff, some pretty powerful things came through, behind it. I learned about the way Allison used to sing to her kids at bedtime, very quietly, in the dark, night after night and, what can I say? I felt something move within me, picturing it, feeling the hushed, sweet essence of it. I learned that her kids can feel her, right behind them, in their lives, even when they can't see her. there And a lightbulb went off in my head when I heard her eldest say, "So much of who we are is who they [my parents] are. And so much of who they are is who we are." And there is was.

What ended up happening is that I wrote two songs. First, one that I knew Ben, Rangel and Talia would love hearing, and love coming into the studio and recording sound effects for (this played out as I hoped: they cracked right up when they heard Zip-Line, and they were, collectively, a real HOOT in the studio!) That first song is called "The Zip-line of Love" and you can listen to it just below. And then there was this second song, that was what I could hear resonating, more deeply, underneath all their words, and the gentle, shy looks they gave as they talked about their mom, and in a few really beautiful things they wrote down when I gave them some quiet space and a piece of paper. So that is how "Who You Are" got born.

Here we are--very silly--in the studio, recording "The Zip-Line of Love." It was a fun recording session!

And then it was time for the other song. I took a deep breath, sought out one of my all-time favorite pianists, who I had never worked with before, but who is a good friend of Allison and, these days, a good friend of mine, too: Gail Carey. And together with Eric Kilburn in the sound booth, we created this song.

It was the second song I've ever composed on piano, after about 200 composed on guitar. The version I played for Gail was pretty simple. But she could hear the deeper nuances of what was possible, and it is thanks to her that "Who You Are" is the lovely piece that it turned out to be.

Shortly after I had composed it, and before anyone, including Gail or Allison had heard it, my own mom was visiting. So I played and sang it for her, late on afternoon, live on the piano in my dining room. I had intended to just "share my latest thing" with her, but once I began, I found myself reduced to tears, as it hit me how much this song tells the story, too, of my love for her, growing up with two siblings, creating a triumvirate of kids just like the one I found with Ben, Rangel, and Talia. So this song goes out to my mom this Mother's Day as well. Hard to fathom or explain how lucky I feel to have been ushered into and through this world on the arm of someone who loves and is loved so much. Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

But most of all, of course, this song is dedicated to my dear friend Allison, who is a deep, deep river of giving; a wide-eyed learner from the moment she wakes up in the morning till the last bits and pieces of the day are tended to. A connected, curious, attentive wife and partner, and a mother who has inspired me to feel, deep within myself, that universal quality of giving, loving, opening, trusting, and laughing your way through raising kids, from the heart.

Allison shared with me that when the kids presented the songs to her, on her birthday, they started with "Zip-Line of Love" and listening to it, she laughed and laughed and laughed. Then they played "Who You Are." And midway through the playing of it, Tom, Allison's husband, was so moved he had to get up and leave the room. I can't say for sure why it hits me this way, but that is my favorite part of the whole story. There is something in this life, about daring to create things that allow people to feel, and then learning that it actually happened just as you'd hoped, that just makes me want to roll around on the ground, look up at the big, bright sky and say, "Really? It's this good? Life gets to be this good?! THANK YOU!"

Who You Are
For Mom, From Ben, Rangel and Talia
Happy Birthday!

Who we are is so much about
Who you are, so much about
All the ways that you gave
Of your self and your heart
For us three

And who you are is so much about
Who we are, so much about
How you always are watching to sense
What you feel
We might need

And when we think about all the times
That you were right there, standing behind us
Helping us find
Our own way

And when we think about all the nights
Lying beside us, voices so quiet
Singing our songs in the dark
Making it safe

We think about love, we think about you
We think of that deepest sense of who we are
That always will hold
Something of you

And who we are, wherever we’re going
Will be filled with knowing
And learning and growing
Right here beside you

Here is the song I wrote to "prime the pump" and have a little fun with the fact that in Mexico a few years back Allison had failed to remember to use the breaks on a zip-line family adventure. Ever have one of those "Mom Moments" that you will NEVER be allowed to live down!? Try having it commemorated in song. Now THAT is a brave, adventurous, playful mom!!

The Zip-Line of Love
For Mom, From Ben, Rangel & Talia
Happy Birthday!

She stands up on the pedestal, she is ready to take flight
She cannot flare her nostrils…but she leaps with all her might
Now she’s fiercely shooting forward, like a shopper at the mall
But don’t confuse her with a shopper, she does not like malls at all

She is airborne! Shooting forward on a wire!
In the Mexican jungle, she is a screaming ball of fire!

And down there at the bottom is an urgent, native man
He is flapping, he is calling, but she does not understand
And from this distance he cannot tell how she gently reads at night
How she cuddles, hugs, encourages…and makes everything alright
How she referees pajama races, carpools all over town
Serves healthy organic farm-fare, makes lists & writes ev’thing down

She is airborne! Shooting forward on a wire!
In the Mexican jungle, she is a screaming ball of fire
Her trajectory’s tremendous, the air is bursting with her power
She can’t stop herself from shooting at a million miles an hour
The impact is stupendous, she has slammed him to the wall
She may have just caused…the last Mayan to fall

She was airborne! And she slammed him to the wall
Unaware of her own expansive powers, she is the strongest of them all

They are tangled up and tumbled up, a collapsing, gasping pair
But miraculously he stands, and he seems no worse for the wear
Sometime love can be like that, it can knock you to the boards
But you never need to wonder what all that love is for

She is airborne, on this wire and in her life
She is armed with the power of mother-love
And she can make anything alright

If you’ve been loved by a mother with as deep a love as she
Then you know that zip-line, straight-to-the-heart feeling of what it means to be
Loved with the purity of the strong, sweet jungle air
Loved with a certainty you can carry everywhere
Loved with a power that is stronger than us all
Loved with a force strong enough, to make the last Mayan
Fall (and get back up, and get back up, and get back up…)

SONG CREDITS
Zip-Line of Love
Paul Lenart - Acoustic and classical Guitars, bass, electric guitar
Larry Luddecke - percussion
Himself - Ben Aley
Himself, Urgent Native Man - Rangel Aley
Herself - Talia Aley
Tambourine - Ben Aley
Ancestors - Ben, Rangel, Talia Aley
Vocals - Anna Huckabee Tull
Mixed at Straight Up Music, Arlington Mass, by Larry Luddecke
Harmonies - Ben, Rangel, Talia, Anna

Who You Are
Piano - Gail Carey
Vocals - Anna Huckabee Tull
Mixed at Wellspring Sound in Acton, Mass by Eric Kilburn

ANNA HUCKABEE TULL is an award-winning Singer-Songwriter and a Life Coach with a Master's in Spiritual Psychology. She creates commissioned songs and videos for people all over the world.

]]><![CDATA[The Gracewave]]>Tue, 28 Jan 2014 13:27:05 GMThttps://www.customcraftedsongs.com/listen/the-gracewaveTOPIC: What Does it Mean to say YES on All Levels?

Stepping Into the Flow

This song makes me so happy! It's all about what it means to step into the sweeping, coincidence-filled energy that is all around us and available to us in the moment we say YES to the depths of our own journey.

Inspired in large part by Nancy Sporborg, who commissioned the song, "The Gracewave" this summer, my family said YES, YES, YES!! to a trip all across this magnificent country of ours (that's me and my sons Ben and Sam at the Grand Canyon, with photo credits to my husband Jim.)

To learn about Nancy--who was brave and brilliant enough to commission a song like this--and her journey, and her message, and her incredible book, "IT'S NOT ABOUT THE HIKE," to which this song is a companion piece, read on....

"The Gracewave" - Free Download
File Size:	6962 kb
File Type:	mp3

Download File

This is Nancy. Nancy is one of those people who knows what it means to get a little sliver of an idea and ride the energy of that idea allllll the way to a magnificent conclusion.

Ever heard of the Keene, NH Pumpkin Festival? If you haven't, all you have to do is open the Guinness Book of World Records to discover how a simple flicker of an idea for Nancy turned into an annually recurring festival culminating with thousands and thousands of lit, hand-carved pumpkins being brought into luminescence all at once.

This is Nancy's book.

RIDING THE GRACEWAVE

Nancy travels all around New England giving inspiring, uplifting, vibrant, connective talks, about how she came to write this book, and how the living of the story within it changed her life, and helps change others' lives as well.

In 2006, Nancy and her new friend Pat challenged each other to walk around downtown Keene, NH at lunchtime. Then to prepare and "train" to climb one of the smaller mountains of New Hampshire. Then to climb another. Then to climb all 67 4,000-footers in New England. And it didn't stop there. Something was happening. They climbed all through the summer. And deep into the winter. They climbed because something magical was happening. They were discovering that they were strong. They were discovering that the journey, each time, held challenges and surprises and delights that were inviting them, more and more, to open, to deepen, to breathe, to take in the world around them, and to celebrate their strength and the vibrancy of their lives. They started blogging about it. And more and more people started following the blog. They started talking about it, and more and more people came to their talks. Nancy's blog turned into a beautiful, expansive book of the progression of their hikes and the awakening of their spirits, filled with gorgeous photographs of nature and personal triumph, and a profoundly contagious kind of enthusiasm. [Nancy's web site] [Nancy's FaceBook page]

Something about this friendship, this journey, and this discovery of her own strength seemed to simply pick Nancy up and carry her along. As long as she showed up, willing, open, ready for anything, this wave she was riding seemed, quite simply, to carry her in its flow and celebrate her awakening.

Have you ever experienced this? A feeling that you are leaning into the unknown, uncertain exactly where you are headed or what is next, but FEELING deep within you that if you just stay present to this one moment, it will carry you beyond what you had previously known and understood, to someplace within yourself and all around you that is larger, deeper, truer, and finer than anything you could have thought to ask or wish for? Nancy calls this experience Riding the Gracewave. My assignment was to capture the essence of this feeling and amplify and celebrate it in song, so that when Nancy travels around the country to share her message and her book and the photos of her journey, she has a "soundtrack" for those images that allows others to FEEL it, and to know, deep in the essence of their being, that Nancy's journey is really just a reminder to all of us about the vibrancy of our OWN journey.

Today is the day! Today, now, just this very moment, is all about WHO YOU REALLY ARE, and what happens when you LEAN INTO that little, subtle flash of a feeling that is calling to you, urging you on with a message of: "Say yes! Say YES to all that's coming your way! Step in. Dare. Dare to ride it! Open your heart and ride....the Gracewave."

THE GRACEWAVE
Anna Huckabee Tull

It starts with maybe, just a passing thought
Something contained within me, fleeting but sparkling on
And I could let it slip away
But something in me knows something’s beginning
If I just let myself come awake
Let it take root deep inside, and let me close my eyes

Here comes the Gracewave, ahhhh
Here comes the Gracewave, ahhh

Well I’ve faced my fears,
Now I’m way out past the comfort zone
Past all the things I’ve known
Something new is here, gonna rise up and play my part
Gonna follow, follow my heart
And dream the biggest dream I have inside
Feel it deeply come alive, as I open wide

I’m riding the Gracewave, ahhh
I’m riding the Gracewave, ahhh--ahhh

And now my life is my message
More than ever before
Gonna ride… through all these opening doors
Yes! Yes! to all that’s coming my way
Yes! Let me hear you, let me hear you say

We’re riding the Gracewave, feel it rise
We’re riding the Gracewave, fills me up inside
Riding the Gracewave, makes me feel so alive
Riding the Gracewave, all I have to do
All I have to do is
Ride, ride
Ride, ride
All I have to do is ride, ride, ride
Just ride

(c) Anna Huckabee Tull/CustomCraftedSongs.com

THE ARTISTS

I worked on this song sitting on my woods-surrounded back deck, and on a lakeside in Maine. I worked on it staring up at the sky, and hiking to the top of a hill, and watching the turtles in our pond. When it was finished, I found myself humming it in the grocery store parking lot, and on the drive to pick up my kids form school. It just got INTO me! I am delighted to be able to share it with you now, and to give credit to the many fine souls who brought their musical two-cents to the process:

Paul Lenart, on acoustic guitars 1 and 2, electric guitar, and bass
Larry Luddecke, of Straight Up Music, on piano, organ, and shaker
Marty Hennum (my dear improv theater friend from college) on backing vocals
Don Sporborg on percussion
Anna Huckabee Tull on lead vocals
Eric Kilburn, of Wellspring Sound, on mixing and mastering (and lots of good advice!)
Nancy Sporborg - a steady, loving presence in the mixing room
Ben Tull - my 13-year old came to observe Nancy's husband Don add the drum tracks, so he could dream of a day in the not-too-distant future where he will join me, percussively, in the recording booth! I can hardly wait for that day!
PS - That's my beloved nephew Mitchell Tijerina with his arms spread wide to the sky in the photo up above, on the very lake in Maine where I wrote much of this song this summer. His mom, my husband's sister Christy Tull, gets the credit for that beautiful photo.

]]><![CDATA[Learning to Fly]]>Mon, 28 Oct 2013 17:59:28 GMThttps://www.customcraftedsongs.com/listen/learning-to-flyTOPIC: Hitting a Whole New Groove After 20 Years of Marriage

What Does It Mean to Really Soar as a Couple?

My favorite thing about this song is that it grew out of a couple making it through a serious TIGHT SQUEEZE and coming out so much stronger on the other side--astonished with their own strength, more deeply connected, and laughing that great, fabulous laugh of relief and joy you feel when you somehow land, together, in the right place.

Who do YOU become when the going gets tough? What does it mean, in those most challenging moments, to risk, to dare, to trust your gut, and, importantly, to truly move closer to the one beside you, rather than to pull away? This song explores what's on the other side, in life, when what you do together in the face of a tough challenge on the ground, is to LEARN TO FLY...

"Learning to Fly" - Free Download
File Size:	4797 kb
File Type:	mp3

Download File

Twenty-five years ago, in a Corporate Lifestyle far, far away, I had a super-fabulous high-heeled job at the Leo Burnett Advertising Agency. Fancy shoes, fancy briefcase, fancy workload, and super-fancy friend, Chris.

Twenty-five years later, Chris tracked me down (thank you Facebook) and we both discovered that each of our lives, out beyond that corporate hotbed of our flashy beginnings, had taken some pretty intense and deepening twists and turns. We both love who we have turned out to be, and feel deeply grateful for the lives and the family that we live with, and all the crazy, zany fun we each get to enjoy, married to the right guy, and raising two tremendous boys. But when Chris opened up to me about her own story, and told me she wanted to commission a song to surprise her husband, Todd, with on their 20th anniversary, the utter uniqueness of her story, and, most especially, the most recent few years of their path, came forward. I found myself hanging on her every word.

THEIR STORY

A lot of it is private. You can fill in the blanks any way you like. But imagine this: Imagine a life where you are in the depths of a terribly sad, unexpected break-up that has left you on your knees, needing to start over, change your focus, and to rebuild in nearly every way. While the journey is difficult, the surprising path and the lessons learned help to cement a personal sense of perseverance, strength and purpose.

Then imagine, during that journey, that into your life walks a man with the kindest, warmest smile you have ever seen. And then, over time, imagine falling in love with that kindness and starting to believe in the possibilities of a future with a family of your own. Now imagine years of building a “picture perfect” life with him--two cherished kids, a lovely house, successful business, good friends and a place in the community.

And then, a tsunami of illness rapidly descends upon you, stealing bits and pieces of your body and brain, leaving you in terrible degenerative pain, eventually unable to clearly think and speak, or to easily walk or move. Consider what it might be like, to become unrecognizable even to yourself.

Then imagine looking across at your partner, seeing him bound in a successful business that no longer makes sense for him at all, despite his strong sense of dedication to the people and to the work.

And then imagine how somehow, slowly, without your even really noticing it, it dawns on you that everything you have built your life on together ties you to one place, one way of being, one way of interacting, in a manner that feels inescapable and, frankly, damaging.

Imagine what might happen if that awareness slowly started to put a choke-hold on everything about your sense of well-being, even as your life still looked perfectly darn good - on paper.

THE MOMENT OF TRUTH AND COURAGE

Imagine all of that and then imagine looking at each other honestly for the first time in a long time, experiencing some of the most real conversations you have ever had in your life together. Seeing the truth, together, of how much is not working, and how utterly unclear and scary the alternatives are. Imagine holding in the space of not-knowing together. Just holding. And praying. And praying.

And then imagine deciding something together, leaning heavily on your own deep faith. Imagine a cold, snowy December day where you load up the car, the kids, the dog, lock the house and leave - moving far, far away and just STARTING ANEW. Starting all over again.

And finding that, in this new place, your body is very slowly beginning to heal. In time, you can walk again and then carefully, deliberately, start to run. And finding that the new business your husband has started, with his own sweat and blood and good will, is starting to...take off. And then imagine that other things start falling into place - family adventures, old forgotten dreams, like, traveling the world, and, literally, learning how to fly an airplane.

Imagine starting to feel new life breathed into the way you see the world. Imagine starting to feel like dreams that you barely ever dared to dream, actually can come alive, in your life, together.

THE SHIFT

Chris shared with me that in this shift, and in their new life, Todd began to appear to her as someone significantly more powerful, strong, brave, sensitive, and quite simply, a deep, big, giving, loving partner. She shared that as her body began to heal in this new environment, she found herself to be a warrior on a level previously unknown to her—more courageous, grateful, present, and authentic…and internally happy.

On the day I sent her the rough recording of her song, Chris was taking a flying lesson in a Cessna 172, what she calls a “Campbell’s’ Soup Can in the Sky.” ("If we're going to fly the plane as a family, we better both know darn well how to operate that thing.") The timing of her hearing the rough-cut of the song for the first time on this particular day held special meaning, given the title, and the deeper metaphor about what it really meant, for Chris and Todd.

On their anniversary, with the studio version completed, Chris presented Todd with their song. They were alone, having hiked to the top of a mountain together.

THE DEDICATION

And so, this song goes out to Chris and Todd, with my warmest wishes for another 20 years together, and another 20 after that. I find them to be such an inspirational duo, because they are brave, and because they dared to be vulnerable with one another. And most of all, because they have found a way to say, "no thanks" to the things that were making them small and “outwardly comfortable,” and YES to creating a life, together, that is truer and fuller and sweeter and grander and infinitely more connective and rewarding.

This song goes out, to, too any of you, who are feeling stuck, or small, or held back, and who can also feel, within, a rumbling, building awareness of your ability to be both vulnerable, and brave, and to dare to let yourself learn how to FLY!

LEARNING TO FLY
Anna Huckabee Tull

Never believed I could have it like this
Twenty good years and two kick-ass kids
I knew the moment I saw that smile on your face
Crazy beautiful moment, that I would take my place
By your side, take my chances, take this ride

I’ve got no complaints about this road we’ve walked
It brought us everything we knew to want
But the more we held to it, the more we lost
And the more we dared to let go, the more we started to know
That we are strong

And now we’re learning to fly, climbing up higher
Out past the borders that we knew and held to
Now we’re climbing, climbing up higher
And I’m right beside you, you really see me
And I can really see you
What you do, what you do, what you do
And the man you’ve become
It was always in you, in you, in you
And something so good has begun
And we’re learning to fly

Never known anyone as kind as you
Kindest, sweetest, this has always been true
But lately there is so much more to you
I have seen you see us through, in amazing ways
And you have seen me do this too

And now we’re learning to fly, climbing up higher
Out past the borders that we knew and held to
Well, now we’re climbing, climbing up higher
Getting better and better
And I feel so crazy in love with you
With you, with you, with you
And all the things that we’ve done
Made a life so beautiful, beautiful
And so crazy-fun
Yeah, we’re learning to fly

I’m learning to fly with my guy...

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