TOPIC: The Love of a Pet, The Loss of a Pet And a New Understanding of Love
I HAD A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME SONG PERFORMANCE EXPERIENCE
Last weekend I was invited to perform a song in a church...
...and I had an experience that felt so rare, so unexpected, and so connective, that I want to try to put words to it here, and share it with you.
The song is called "Once Upon a Dog," and I performed it live at the First Parish UU Church in Concord, MA, as part of a weekend-long event there around "Reverence for Life."
...and I had an experience that felt so rare, so unexpected, and so connective, that I want to try to put words to it here, and share it with you.
The song is called "Once Upon a Dog," and I performed it live at the First Parish UU Church in Concord, MA, as part of a weekend-long event there around "Reverence for Life."
| "Once Upon a Dog" - Free Download |
It's a song about a dog, Billie, who passed away this year. It's a song of celebration about her life, and also of walking through the steps of what it felt like, for the family that loved and cared for her, to lose her.
I chose this song as probably a good one to play, given that the topic of the day was "Reverence for Life," and the idea was to ask ourselves the ways in which we rise to the call of "Honoring all beings"--not just our own species, but the web of life all around us.
So when I walked up to the front of the church, I felt like this song was reasonably on target, and "storied" enough to be at least entertaining.
And, in fact, I knew that the family who had commissioned the song was right there in the church that day, so I privately knew that added a special element as well.
But something out beyond all of those nice little factoids happened when I picked up my guitar and began to play that morning.
I felt something shift deeply in the room.
In all my years of performing, I cannot recall a time where I so clearly felt that practically every person in the room seeming to lean in, and hungrily, eagerly soak up every word of what I was singing.
The room expanded and changed, somehow. I felt the words of the song coming into me, and out of me, from someplace deeper.
And I literally began to feel that the deep love of one other creature is, in fact, a portal, in some way, to the love that is all around us, and to the lives, human and otherwise, that are all around us, every moment, in this world.
And somehow, it seemed, something of what I was experiencing was happening for so very many others there in the room as well.
I chose this song as probably a good one to play, given that the topic of the day was "Reverence for Life," and the idea was to ask ourselves the ways in which we rise to the call of "Honoring all beings"--not just our own species, but the web of life all around us.
So when I walked up to the front of the church, I felt like this song was reasonably on target, and "storied" enough to be at least entertaining.
And, in fact, I knew that the family who had commissioned the song was right there in the church that day, so I privately knew that added a special element as well.
But something out beyond all of those nice little factoids happened when I picked up my guitar and began to play that morning.
I felt something shift deeply in the room.
In all my years of performing, I cannot recall a time where I so clearly felt that practically every person in the room seeming to lean in, and hungrily, eagerly soak up every word of what I was singing.
The room expanded and changed, somehow. I felt the words of the song coming into me, and out of me, from someplace deeper.
And I literally began to feel that the deep love of one other creature is, in fact, a portal, in some way, to the love that is all around us, and to the lives, human and otherwise, that are all around us, every moment, in this world.
And somehow, it seemed, something of what I was experiencing was happening for so very many others there in the room as well.
ONCE UPON A DOG (TRUE COMPANION)
Once upon a dog, well she didn’t live as long
As we thought that she would, so loyal so good
And she always was everywhere where we were,
Well, there was Billie
Ready for a wrestle, for a walk, a run, and yes she will
Sleep in your bed, lick your hands if you let her, she’ll
Lick, lick, lick ‘em, watch out, she’ll French kiss ‘em
She’ll lick you silly, and
Oh, just look at her go
And let your self know, you’re in the presence of a True Companion
Oh, want everyone to know, let the story be told,
It’s the story of a True Companion
Once upon a pet, watch her whine when she’s wet
Waiting out by the door, dripping water all over the floor
Tail wagging, Did I do that? Well…
Now she ate the turkey you left out, she was lurking
And she gobbled it down before anyone saw her around
Tail sagging, Did I do that? and
Oh, just look at her go
And let your self know, you’re in the presence of a True Companion
Oh, want everyone to know, let the story be told,
It’s the story of a True Companion
Who’s that at the door? Watch her scramble ‘cross the floor
She’s gotta know who it is and she’s gotta keep sniffing like this
Who’s there, Billie, who?!
Come one, we’re at the car, not going very far
But the way that she’s twirling around, you might think that we are
Taking her to the moon
Oh, just look at her go
And let your self know, you’re in the presence of a True Companion
Oh, want everyone to know, let the story be told,
Let it never grow old…
Well, something isn’t right, where’s that light in her eyes?
I don’t know where it is; I don’t know how to think about this
And she’s fading away
Carried to the car, feel that lump in your heart
Watch her struggle to be all the things that she’s been every day
Now she’s sliding away, oh, Billie
Oh, watching you go
Hope that you know the way you’ve always been a True Companion
Oh, want you to know, wherever you go, there may be others but there’ll
Be no stand in
Once upon a dog, yeah, she didn’t live as long
As we thought that she would…
And she always was everywhere
And she always was everywhere
Yeah she always was everywhere
There was Billie
© 2011 Anna Huckabee Tull CustomCraftedSongs.com
THE PERFORMANCE RESPONSE--WHAT HAPPENED?!
So I played. I played and sang my way deep into and through the energy and the deeper message of this song. I felt it. And when it was over, I looked up at the congregation. And I was astonished to discover that nearly everyone in the room seemed to be in tears.
Three wide aisles of people, many, many rows deep, and it seemed that everywhere I looked, there were tears flowing. And more to the point, it seemed as if something had happened to all of us, together. Something that felt profound. And transporting.
I still don't know what it was. People wrote to me afterward to say things like, "I was not there this weekend, but I spoke to someone who said it was the best worship service ever, largely due to your contribution. One woman told me she heard you at the 9:00 service and was so moved she went back to experience it again at the 11:00." Or, "I can't remember a service, and a moment, that touched me like that one did since the church service held right after 9-11."
What happened? I don't really know! Maybe this song touched on something deeply universal that most of us have experienced but that is hard to talk about and share: the love for and from one animal. Or maybe on that day, in that safe space, I gave myself some kind of permission to sing even more deeply from my heart than I usually dare to do. Or maybe it was the larger subject at hand--this question being raised that day, about "Who are we? And what is our connection to the life around us? And how consciously do we allow ourselves to feel and lean into and be a part of that larger sense of life?"
What I know is, I feel so incredibly lucky to have been in a room where something seemed to have happened to practically all of us. And I feel honored to have been a conduit to that, in some un-planned, unexpected way.
So I played. I played and sang my way deep into and through the energy and the deeper message of this song. I felt it. And when it was over, I looked up at the congregation. And I was astonished to discover that nearly everyone in the room seemed to be in tears.
Three wide aisles of people, many, many rows deep, and it seemed that everywhere I looked, there were tears flowing. And more to the point, it seemed as if something had happened to all of us, together. Something that felt profound. And transporting.
I still don't know what it was. People wrote to me afterward to say things like, "I was not there this weekend, but I spoke to someone who said it was the best worship service ever, largely due to your contribution. One woman told me she heard you at the 9:00 service and was so moved she went back to experience it again at the 11:00." Or, "I can't remember a service, and a moment, that touched me like that one did since the church service held right after 9-11."
What happened? I don't really know! Maybe this song touched on something deeply universal that most of us have experienced but that is hard to talk about and share: the love for and from one animal. Or maybe on that day, in that safe space, I gave myself some kind of permission to sing even more deeply from my heart than I usually dare to do. Or maybe it was the larger subject at hand--this question being raised that day, about "Who are we? And what is our connection to the life around us? And how consciously do we allow ourselves to feel and lean into and be a part of that larger sense of life?"
What I know is, I feel so incredibly lucky to have been in a room where something seemed to have happened to practically all of us. And I feel honored to have been a conduit to that, in some un-planned, unexpected way.
THE STORY BEHIND THE SONG
Allison is a very special friend who has a rare intuitive gift. When her family's dog, Billie, died suddenly and unexpectedly, she found herself alone in her grieving, unclear how to share what had happened in her own world. Her husband was away on a trip. And she noticed how her son was able to hop on Facebook and immediately share and get support, while, in that staggering blow of a moment, she felt she had no such easy step to connect with all those around her. Within a day or two of this event, she realized that what she deeply wanted was a focal point allowing her family to come together, rather than head in separate directions, around their grief. Her birthday was on the way, and she asked if her gift could be a commissioned song, based on a song interview with the whole family. The six of us gathered, and each family member, in their own way, shared bits and pieces to try to give me the clearest possible picture of just who and how Billie was: her eagerness, her pervasive presence, her energy, her antics and expressions. And the pervading feeling of love they all felt and experienced with her, every day. When it came time to think about the format and structure of the song, I noted that most of what they had shared felt like an upbeat tribute, but I wondered if they were open to the song including some of the hurt and confusion as well. Allison's 7th grade son, Rangel, surprised and impressed me by saying, "We have to. We have to go there. The song has to have that as part of it." And so it does. And so we dug deeper. Talia (a 6th grader) was really able to let herself feel as she spoke, and seeing the feeling on her face was immensely guiding to me in creating this piece. Ben (a high school sophomore) was the one who sat with Billie, his hand on her heart, on that final drive. The essence of his sharing about what it felt like, to hold her and be by her side for this last leg of the journey, figures prominently into the heart of the song. Ultimately, each family member let me know, in their own ways, how Billie's presence, and the love they all shared so easily and freely, changed...well...everything. Love, flowing freely, has a way of doing that.
Allison is a very special friend who has a rare intuitive gift. When her family's dog, Billie, died suddenly and unexpectedly, she found herself alone in her grieving, unclear how to share what had happened in her own world. Her husband was away on a trip. And she noticed how her son was able to hop on Facebook and immediately share and get support, while, in that staggering blow of a moment, she felt she had no such easy step to connect with all those around her. Within a day or two of this event, she realized that what she deeply wanted was a focal point allowing her family to come together, rather than head in separate directions, around their grief. Her birthday was on the way, and she asked if her gift could be a commissioned song, based on a song interview with the whole family. The six of us gathered, and each family member, in their own way, shared bits and pieces to try to give me the clearest possible picture of just who and how Billie was: her eagerness, her pervasive presence, her energy, her antics and expressions. And the pervading feeling of love they all felt and experienced with her, every day. When it came time to think about the format and structure of the song, I noted that most of what they had shared felt like an upbeat tribute, but I wondered if they were open to the song including some of the hurt and confusion as well. Allison's 7th grade son, Rangel, surprised and impressed me by saying, "We have to. We have to go there. The song has to have that as part of it." And so it does. And so we dug deeper. Talia (a 6th grader) was really able to let herself feel as she spoke, and seeing the feeling on her face was immensely guiding to me in creating this piece. Ben (a high school sophomore) was the one who sat with Billie, his hand on her heart, on that final drive. The essence of his sharing about what it felt like, to hold her and be by her side for this last leg of the journey, figures prominently into the heart of the song. Ultimately, each family member let me know, in their own ways, how Billie's presence, and the love they all shared so easily and freely, changed...well...everything. Love, flowing freely, has a way of doing that.
Allison and her husband Tom shared with me that, as powerful as it was to hear the song when I initially presented it to them in my living room, and as healing as it was to have the studio recording, they were both most blown away by the experience of sitting in their own church and hearing it live, embedded as they were among fellow parishioners. For Tom, it was striking to realize how many people had clearly experienced their own journey with their own pet that had a similar feel to it. And for Allison, she knew the song was coming but was unprepared for how deeply she herself would weep when she heard it in this context. For me, I felt wonderment, at being reminded of yet another way in which all of our experiences have common roots of feeling. Writing this song helped me happily remember the dog of my childhood, and helped me grieve the more recent loss of our family dog in a sweeter, more poignant way.
A HAPPY ENDING
Billie lives on, through this song. And thanks to the healing journey this family took together in dealing with the loss, and the love, in the aftermath of Billie's exit, there is a wonderful coda to the story. There is a line at the end of the song that says, to Billie, "There may be others but there'll be no stand-in." Just a week or two ago, the non-stand-in appeared in Allison's household.
Mac the Puppy is a little soul very different in nature, but equally deeply loved. The web of life continues, and I feel sure you will join me in welcoming Mac into the world, and into this ever-present web of life in which we all find ourselves connected.
Billie lives on, through this song. And thanks to the healing journey this family took together in dealing with the loss, and the love, in the aftermath of Billie's exit, there is a wonderful coda to the story. There is a line at the end of the song that says, to Billie, "There may be others but there'll be no stand-in." Just a week or two ago, the non-stand-in appeared in Allison's household.
Mac the Puppy is a little soul very different in nature, but equally deeply loved. The web of life continues, and I feel sure you will join me in welcoming Mac into the world, and into this ever-present web of life in which we all find ourselves connected.
Composer & Performer Anna Huckabee Tull ABOUT THE ARTIST
Anna Huckabee Tull is an Award-Winning Singer Songwriter, a Psychologist and a Life Coach. She creates songs (and videos) on commission to help individuals mark meaningful transitions, passages, and moments of celebration. The song "Once Upon a Dog" was recorded at Wellspring Sound, in Acton, MA, with Eric Kilburn. That's Eric on Acoustic Guitar, Banjo, Mandolin, AND Bass!! (Go Eric!)
Anna Huckabee Tull is an Award-Winning Singer Songwriter, a Psychologist and a Life Coach. She creates songs (and videos) on commission to help individuals mark meaningful transitions, passages, and moments of celebration. The song "Once Upon a Dog" was recorded at Wellspring Sound, in Acton, MA, with Eric Kilburn. That's Eric on Acoustic Guitar, Banjo, Mandolin, AND Bass!! (Go Eric!)
RSS Feed
