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Anna Huckabee Tull
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Still Here

3/1/2011

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A Family Finds its Way Forward in the Aftermath of Death

TOPIC: When a young family loses a mother/wife
"Still Here" - Free Download
File Size: 5552 kb
File Type: mp3
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THE STORY
John  was moved when he heard my music, and was taken by the idea of commissioning a song for the One Year Anniversary of the death of his wife Janis. Janis had struggled off and on with cancer for over a decade, during which time she had, with John, raised two children into their teens. Her cancer took a turn for the worse when her son was off at college. Maybe her death came as a shocking surprise becuase Janis had always been so strong, and so able to keep going and keep going no matter what. Or maybe it came as a surprise because death always does somehow, no matter what. We are almost never ready to say goodbye to someone we love. And when that person has been the hub of a family, the sudden loss of their presence can hit over and over again in an unfathomable number of gigantic and microscopic ways.
Picture"We four were one. And now you're gone..."
THE INTERVIEW
John  was moved when he heard my music, and was taken by the idea of commissioning a song for the One Year Anniversary of the death of his wife Janis. Janis had struggled off and on with cancer for over a decade, during which time she had, with John, raised two children into their teens. Her cancer took a turn for the worse when her son was off at college. Maybe her death came as a shocking surprise becuase Janis had always been so strong, and so able to keep going and keep going no matter what. Or maybe it came as a surprise because death always does somehow, no matter what. We are almost never ready to say goodbye to someone we love. And when that person has been the hub of a family, the sudden loss of their presence can hit over and over again in an unfathomable number of gigantic and microscopic ways.

From there it was easy to follow the energy of this story to its natural conclusion.

We four were one, and now you’re gone
We look for traces in the empty spaces,
Walk to the far corners
Stumble forward
A long, long way from what we know

What was it you said in the way you lived?
What did the love you left behind leave us to build on?
Carry on
Carry on
You are still here
When we persevere

Your pointed stride, the way your smile rose to your eyes
You opened the way with every effortful gain you made
You would focus for hours and hours
Plough through mountains
We're such a long, long way from that now

What was it you said in the way you lived?
What did the love you left behind leave us to build on?
Carry on
Carry on
You are still here
When we persevere

And we will grow, and love
Take those chances and become
And we will not fear the words we didn't say
We will live forward, open, brave
And we will love you, forever love you
Forever love you
And you're still here
In us you are
Still here

(c) 2007 Anna Huckabee Tull

EPILOGUE
When John received the finished studio version of this song, he had this to say:

"I received it and listened to it at work. I listened to it in a public place and even so, the tears just flowed. It is so beautiful!!!!!! There is such a beautiful richness to the music and lyrics! I am so glad we did this! You are very talented, and have a way of getting at what was in our lives together. This song makes me marvel at the simplicity of a shared life, and yet also the complexity inherent in entwining two beings together in a relationship. Thank you, Anna, for making such a beautiful memorial to my wife and my children's mother. "

THE RECORDING STORY
The (breathtaking, I think) acoustic guitar you hear in this song is my oft-credited good friend and collaborator Eric Kilburn. The song "Still Here" was one of those special songs which was transformed to a completley differrent level from rough cut to finished studio recording, and that is 100% thanks to the performance and engeineering skills of Eric. Please forward this link to anyone you know who has suffered the loss of a central figure in their lives.
© 2006 Anna Huckabee Tull. The rights for this song are filed and registered with the United States Copyright Office as a Sound Recording by Anna Huckabee Tull. Copies of these songs may not be sold or bartered. But sharing? Sharing is all good! Share away!
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