TOPIC: WHEN A YOUNG FAMILY LOSES A MOTHER/WIFE
Song of the Month: Still Here [listen to song] [view lyrics]

A Family Finds its Way Forward in the Aftermath of Death

THE STORY
John  was moved when he heard my music, and was taken by the idea of commissioning a song for the One Year Anniversary of the death of his wife Janis. Janis had struggled off and on with cancer for over a decade, during which time she had, with John, raised two children into their teens. Her cancer took a turn for the worse when her son was off at college. Maybe her death came as a shocking surprise becuase Janis had always been so strong, and so able to keep going and keep going no matter what. Or maybe it came as a surprise because death always does somehow, no matter what. We are almost never ready to say goodbye to someone we love. And when that person has been the hub of a family, the sudden loss of their presence can hit over and over again in an unfathomable number of gigantic and microscopic ways.

THE INTERVIEW

I learned so much from meeting and talking with not only John but each of his kids, both of whom were on the verge of large transitions--one out of college and one into it--without their mother there to play her familiar role. I learned from what they said to me, but I learned just as much from being in their home and getting a strong sense both for how fractured things felt in her absence, and for how much each family member, in their own way, was finding ways to emulate the stength of Janis and to move forward. But the ultimate inspiration for the song came back at my home, as I was sitting there, guitar in hand, looking at a photo of the family in years past. It hit me so powerfully--they all four appeared to me, in that moment, in that photo, as if they were, simply, ONE. So it was that photo, in contrast to what I  felt in their home, that gave me the song's first line--so simple, and at the core of what everyone seemed to be feeling, each in their own seperate way:

 

 

 

From there it was easy to follow the energy of this story to its natural conclusion.

EPILOGUE
When John received the finished studio version of this song, he had this to say:

 

"I received it and listened to it at work. I listened to it in a public place and even so, the tears just flowed. It is so beautiful!!!!!! There is such a beautiful richness to the music and lyrics! I am so glad we did this! You are very talented, and have a way of getting at what was in our lives together. This song makes me marvel at the simplicity of a shared life, and yet also the complexity inherent in entwining two beings together in a relationship. Thank you, Anna, for making such a beautiful memorial to my wife and my children's mother. "


THE RECORDING STORY
The (breathtaking, I think) acoustic guitar you hear in this song is my oft-credited good friend and collaborator Eric Kilburn. The song "Still Here" was one of those special songs which was transformed to a completley differrent level from rough cut to finished studio recording, and that is 100% thanks to the performance and engeineering skills of Eric. Please forward this link to anyone you know who has suffered the loss of a central figure in their lives.

(Photo: Anna Huckabee Tull and son, Ben)