Forever Listening/Loving You - Story Behind the Song

TOPIC: A CLOSER LOOK AT TWO LOVE SONGS
Songs of the Month: Forever Listening and Loving You 
 
1. Forever Listening: (AHT's Most Popular Love Song--1996): [Listen] [View Lyrics]
 
2. Loving You: (AHT's Private Favorite Love Song--2005): [Listen] [View Lyrics]

Two Valentine's-ey Love Songs Written by Me for MY Valentine, About Ten Years Apart

FOREVER LISTENING: THE STORY (1996)
I wrote this song ten years ago, when I was newly in love with the man who turned out to be THE man--my husband Jim. This was one of those great experiences when a song just sort of "appears," fully formed. I was at a unique turning point in my life--I had left a painful marriage and a powerhouse Chicago advertising career in  the dust, and I was a 30-year-old, living back at my parents' house, licking my wounds, regrouping, working as a cashier in a little retreat of a store that sold incense and candles and spiritual books, and, all of a sudden, I was falling in love. (love!)  (LOVE!!!!) This song showed up in my head and it was sort of fighting its way past the piped-in music in the store so I kept on making up excuses to step outside with a pencil and a crumpled store recipt, scribbling down the words as they seemed to fall from the sky.  This song was like a marvel to me. I felt like I was almost "channelling" something, and that has been the feeling that has kept me creating songs for all the years since. This song is the most-requested song when I do live converts. It has been performed at weddings, played in birthing rooms, and every so often I get an email from someone who heard it at a spiritual retreat and wants to know more. It's definitely a song from one lover to another but I was astonished to discover when my son was born that it worked as a love song from a parent to a baby, too. And the folks who use it on spiritual retreats assure me the lyrics can fit for one's relationship with The Divine as well. Ah! The joy of tapping into a unversal truth!

Rainbow at Tikal Mayan ruins in Guatemala
(Photo: The Artist and Her Partner circa 1996)

LOVING YOU: THE STORY (2005)
The Song "Loving You" was written ten years later, to my husband. It was also written during a turning point--the phase where Jim and I were coming out of the full-on-full-time work of having and caring for babies, and starting to return to a phase of rediscovering each other, and redefining ourselves. So in this song, my thoughts had been tempered by time and the reality of the dirt and grit of Real Life. I love this song because it commemmorates, sort of "in code,"  three triumphs for us:
 
(1) DUH: The opening lines refer to the fact that Jim and I had known each other for twenty years, bumped into each other all across the US and in other countries as well, before we really SAW each other, and began listening (hence the opening lines: "If someone told me years ago that I would love you, I would not believe..."). I consider it a triumph that I finally "got the message" about Jim. WOW! What a message! Right there under my nose!
 
(2) HMMM: My love for Jim marked a certain kind of maturation around the idea that love flip-flops. Everything is not extreme or perfect. The perfection, rather, lies in embracing the ups and downs and learning to truly and deeply enjoy the ride. Hence the lines "You have been above me and beneath me. You have doubted and believed me." This love with Jim represents a triumph over the limiting belief that when things feel bad, things will soon be over (vs. When things feel bad, a new door of connection is struggling to open).
 
(3) OHHH!: Finally, there are the final lines of this song, which celebrate the triumph for me of learning how NOT to lose my love for myself in the process of loving another.  Hence the ending: "I am not afraid to lose, I am not afraid to lose loving me, [in the process of] loving you. Yes, I know, that line is an eyebrow-wiggler, but that is what it means (to me). What does it mean to you?

 
 
Anna Huckabee Tull
(Photo: The Artist and Her Husband circa 2005)


THE RECORDING STORY
I recorded "Forever Listening" twice--the first time, in the living room of Jasey Schnaars. That version appeared on my very first release (sold out, now in its third pressing)--a cassette tape collection of 12 songs called "Why, Sure!" The only way to get your hands on a copy of one of these babies is to email me. Feel free to do so at tulljam@rcn.com. The second recording of it (the one included here) features the amazing  Ksenia Mack on guitar (she did the arrangement) and the intricate and surprising Meryl Press on backing vocals. "Loving You" was recorded live at....um, at Carnegie Hall. Yeah, that's the ticket...I was at Carnegie Hall, see? You believe me, dontcha?

THE ARTIST
Anna Huckabee Tull is an award-winning Boston Singer-Songwriter with six national CD releases to her credit, including the  just-released "Every Day,"  a collection of songs exploring the relationships between parents and children, young and old. Anna is also a Psychologist and Life Coach, with a Master's Degree in Spiritual Psychology and Applied Psychology.  [More about Anna]


© 2007 Anna Huckabee Tull. The rights for this song are filed and registered with the United States Copyright Office as a Sound Recording by Anna Huckabee Tull. Copies of these songs may not be sold or bartered. But sharing? Sharing is all good!