Every Day CD Lyrics
1. The Other Side
2. Great Big Heart
3. Good Reason
4. Every Day (The Guatemala Song)
5. Grand Canyon
6. Mother’s Lament
7. Your Family
8. Something to See
9. Magical Days
10. Regained
11. Celeste’s Song
12. Sophie’s Sleeping Song
1. The Other Side
This was a Father’s Day song to celebrate a first Father’s Day, after a difficult road to bringing a child into the world. This is the only song on the album that has previously appeared on a CD of mine (“Other People’s Stories”). Its theme and feel was so perfectly tailored to an album all about parents and children that I couldn’t resist not only bringing it back, but giving it a special day in the sun as the kick-off song for the collection. I love the idea that having children is like crossing over to “the other side” and I have found this to be true in my own experience.
Look at the way you hold our baby boy
Look at his blessed hand across your face
A thousand roads along our journey to this joy
I see a thousand ways I love you in his face
And we did not come this way easy
You kissed my tears away as I birthed the boy we lost
You stood right by my side, refused to close your eyes
You are reborn before me
We are adorned in glory
And everything is different now
We get to see the world through a child’s eyes
Everything is different now
Looking out through Kyle’s eyes
Looking out through the other side
And if we could have known
Could we have steered here any faster?
Or is the sweet more sweet because it’s grown
Out of the loss that it came after?
And everything is different now
We get to see the world through a child’s eyes
Everything is different now
Looking out through Kyle’s eyes
Looking out through the other side
And even you are, you’re different now
Such a father you have shown yourself to be
And so much grace is with us now
We are your family
We are and always will be
Your family
2. Great Big Heart
I have been asked to write many songs for many people in my day, but this was a new one for me: to compose for a two-year old! My instructions were to capture Ella’s lively, spunky nature and to write a song that she would dance to. And dance to it she did! There is a hidden layer in this song because when Ella was in the womb, the doctors believed that she was going to be born with heart trouble. Lots of precautions were taken, but when Ella emerged, she proved everyone astonishingly wrong!
When you were tiny, curled like a ball
They said you’d be delicate and fragile and small
And we all whispered; walked on tippy toes
We held our breath and crossed our fingers with our eyes closed…
But here comes Ella, she’s gettin’ born
Here comes Ella screaming out like a thunderstorm
She’s not fragile, not any part
She’s a feisty one, a spunky one and Ella
Ella’s got a great big heart
Great big heart, great big heart
Zoom and zoom all around the room
Shake your booty little Moo Moo Cutie
‘Cause it’s you we love we do we do we love our Ella
Oh look she’s sleeping in her blue car seat
Sweet little head, sweet little arms, sweet rosy cheeks
We tiptoe closer, oh what a dream
She’s such a cutie, little sleeping beauty like you’ve never seen…
But here comes Ella, her eyes pop wide
Little giggle, little shake, she was wide awake that whole darn time
That spunky Ella gave us quite a start
With a sweet, sweet smile now, ten feet wide now, our Ella
Ella’s got a great big heart
Great big heart, great big heart
Zoom and zoom all around the room
Shake your booty little Moo Moo Cutie
‘Cause it’s you we love we do we do we love our Ella
Clap your hands—great big heart
Stomp your feet—great big heart
Squeeze your nose—great big heart
Wiggle your toes—great big heart
Oh now it’s bedtime, time to lie down
Time to whisper, time to yawn, set your toys on the ground
But not our Ella, she’s got a last hurrah
She’s gonna shake a little, dance a little, play a little, prance a little
Up a little, down a little, push her baby round a little
Hug a little, kiss a little, that a little, this a little
In a little, out a little, look little Missy don’t start…
That Ella’s got a great big heart
Great big heart, great big heart
Zoom and zoom all around the room
Shake your booty little Moo Moo Cutie
‘Cause it’s you we love we do we do we love our Ella
Sure do love our Ella, Wahoo, that’s you!
3. Good Reason
I wrote this song for my own mother, Colleen Jenkins Huckabee. It originally appeared on my first semi-professional Cassette Tape, entitled “Why, Sure!” I had gone for an outing by myself in my new home state of Massachusetts back in 1997, to hear Gloria Steinem speak at Brandeis University. As I was driving home through dark and unfamiliar streets, I was overtaken by a clear feeling of pure, feminine love, coursing all through me, as if it had been shot directly to me from my mother. My mom had always said, “Feel me loving you” and at this very moment, in that dark car, quite simply, I did. The song was finished before I made it home. I pulled into the driveway with tears streaming down my face at the sheer wonder of the love of a mother. I love you, Mom!
I got your eyes; I think I got your laugh
I got your legs, you know I'm happy 'bout that
And I got good reason to go forward with grace
'Cause I've got your heart in a sacred place
And you say, Know I love you; feel me loving you;
Feel it washing through, and I do
And I admire the way you stay true
In the things that you say, and in the things that you do
And I've got good reason to admire it in you
'Cause then I find it in me, find it shining through
And you say, Know I love you; feel me loving you;
Feel it washing through, and I do
I often smile when I catch a glance
Of the turn of my hip, and the curve of my hands
And I've got good feelings in my blood and my bones
You're in the seat of my calm, you’re in the beat of my home
I've got the time, and I've cleared the ground
And I've let this message work its way on down,
So I've got good reason to go forward with grace
'Cause I've got your heart in a sacred place
And you say, Know I love you; feel me loving you;
Feel it washing through, and I do
And you say, Know I love you
And I do.
4. Every Day (The Guatemala Song)
When this song hit the Internet through my Song-of-the-Month email mailings, the adoption community raised up and demonstrated just what an incredible collection of souls it is! The link to this song got forwarded all over the globe, and I received emails from Japan, Hungary, Australia…basically the four corners of the earth, with the possible exception of Antarctica. Adoption websites wrote to ask if they could use the song on their website (they could!) and the mothers who commissioned this song, and I, all got a BIG KICK out of just how many people reacted so profound'ly to this song. It's a song about two very specific women, and their two very specific daughters, adopted from one very specific country, but in the end, it struck a universal chord for countless families, gay, straight, adoptive and otherwise, all across the planet.
Long ago your Mommies rode an airplane through the sky
Past the white clouds, to a land where they’d never been before
They made this journey not just once; they went the whole way twice
So they could carry you, Claire and Sonia, all the way from where you were
Back to their door
You come from a land of wild jungles and live volcanoes
You come from a land of bright colors and shining rainbows
You come from a land that’s mystical and far away
And we’re so glad you came and we’re so glad you’re here today
Now we are the four of us a family
All in one house with toys and books and love
Every day we watch you play and grow and love each other sisterly
And we remember fondly how you came to us
You came from a land of wild jungles and live volcanoes
You come from a land of bright colors and shining rainbows
You come from a land that’s mystical and far away
And we’re so glad you came and we’re so glad you’re here today
And we can’t know all of where you’ve been
Just like we can’t know all of where you’re going
And it’s not always easy here; it’s not always easy anywhere
But we’re here for you all the days that we are here
And we will hold you so near, and so dear, and we’ll remind you
That you come from a home of wild laughter and loving family
You come from a home where we all feel that we’re supposed to be
You come from a land that’s mystical and far away
And you come from home here, where you’re so loved
You are so loved, every day, every day, every day…
La la la la la la…
5. Grand Canyon
I wrote this song for my father, Bill Huckabee. It has always been a vivid memory of mine, to have been taken camping at the edge of the Grand Canyon, and to have been awakened at 5am by his big old flashlight in my face. It would have been a horrible moment (5am?!?!) except that my dad was so visibly excited to share the experience of sunrise in the canyon with us. Seeing beauty like that, especially when it is handed over to you like a secret by one who loves you with all his heart, is like no other experience I have known. When a parent loves you, I have come to believe, that love gets lodged inside of you. And then later, in the darkest, hardest moments, it re-surfaces to show you how to heal. I have a sign on my refrigerator that says everything you need to know in two words: Love Heals. Here's to my dad, and all the love he has had for me, which has taken so many eye-opening forms. I love you, Dad.
When we were little ones
You drove us out West
You lined us little ones
Up along the ledge of the Grand Canyon
And it was morning time
It was 5 a.m.
And with your flashlight
You walked us from our tent to the Grand Canyon
Through the darkness and the silence to the stillness of the vault
We were cold there, all alone there when the first light hit the wall of the Grand Canyon
And before I knew it, we were standing in a canyon on fire
Something shot right through us,
On that landing,
In the canyon,
With your hand in,
Daddy with your hand in mine.
Well I got older and
Somehow I got lost
I know you showed me it
But somehow I forgot about the Grand Canyon
Well they were mountainous
My worries and my fears
My heart was pounding then
Against the ringing in my ears, I thought, I can't stand it.
I thought the darkness and the stillness and the silence was my fault
Some kind of penance, some kind of sentence for my having gotten lost,
I thought I can't stand it
And then before I knew it, I was standing in a canyon on fire
Something shot right through me
I understand now
You had your hand now
Oh, Daddy
You've always had your hand in mine.
6. Mother’s Lament
I took a strange risk with the writing of this song. The amazing and wonderful man who commissioned me to write it asked me to write a song from him to his mother, who had recently died. I listened to all he had to say, but when it came time to write the song, I was utterly compelled to do something other than what he had asked me to do. The song I was hearing, loud and clear in my head, was a song from his mother to him, rather than the reverse…what she might have said if he had been able to be there with her in her final moments. His reaction when I played the song for him told me everything I needed to know: sometimes writing the right song means taking a gigantic leap. This song is painful to hear, and speaks to the distances that can fall between an innocent child and a parent who is overwhelmed by the task at hand, and the hurt and unhealed memories it can bring to the surface.
I handed down to you what came handed down to me
I glossed across the surface when I couldn’t bear to see
Put on a bright dress and disappeared
I never felt the thing that I was longing to feel
I tried to grab a hold of it; I watched it recede
Put on a blank face, and disappeared
All the ways you felt alone
Reminded me too much of home
All your lonely, all your fear
Easier to disappear
Long before you came to us, I once knew how to fly
The raging of the engine; I could see for miles
It used to seem that surely I would rise above
I was not prepared for you; not prepared for love
All the ways you felt alone
Reminded me too much of home
All your lonely, all your fear
Easier to disappear
Please do not do what I’ve done
You can learn to live in love
If you open, if you try
You can break our chains and fly
7. Your Family
Composer’s Notes:
This is my mom’s favorite song I’ve ever written (!). It was created for Sandy, who has become a dear friend. She wanted to welcome her new grandson Jonah into the world in an honoring, inclusive way. I had been struggling privately with how to create a song for my own new son, Ben, and was coming up short because I was so overwhelmed with feeling. In focusing on Sandy’s wishes, I was able find my way through to stating my own welcome to Baby Ben in this song as well. Welcome Jonah! Welcome Ben! Welcome everyone! Life here is good, and you will be loved!
As you lay your head down we are singing you to sleep
We are flowing through your veins and we are in the air you breathe
And as you live this life of yours, we hope that you will come to see
We are all around you; we are your family
Some of us came to you through your bloodlines
Some of us you’ve yet to find but we are on our way
Some of us came here before you in a different time
Some of us are by your side today
And we are your family
We are all the hearts that love you, here beside you and above you
We’re the hands that will steady you, encourage you and ready you
For all the wonders you will see
Because we are your family
And when you hurt, we will listen
And when you struggle, we will help you try
And we will cheer you on when you learn to walk
And when you run, and when you fly
‘Cause we are your family
We are all the hearts that love you, here beside you and above you
We’re the hands that will steady you, encourage you and ready you
Because we are your family
And when you hurt, we will listen
And when you struggle, we will help you try
And we will cheer you on when you learn to walk
And when you run, and when you fly
And when you sleep, we will whisper in your ear,
You are safe and we are here
So much love right here
8. Something to See
Tony’s mom was dying of cancer, and was beyond the point of being able to sit for a song-interview, but Tony’s wife Jen got the idea of having me write the “good-bye” song she would have left behind for her beloved son, had she been well enough to do it. I loved working on this song. For a song about the end of a life, it turned out to be so full of joy and clarity and celebration. I also loved the idea that in death, perhaps we become something full and spectacular and amazing, not so very different from what it was like to be wild and free in our youth. Tony’s mom has since died, but she got to hear this song before her last day came, and knowing that meant a lot to me.
I was born in a hardscrabble town in Kentucky
Dirt and grit, roll the dice, take a chance
‘Cause sometimes you get lucky
There were plenty of nights that I might as well forget
But I found love where I found love
Learned to grab on and get what there was to get
But oh, you should have seen me, Hon,
I was wild and free
You should have seen me, son
Your mom was something to see
Well now sometimes the fun times, they overflowed
Wasn’t always easy with all my babies
To hold the pieces; just settle down and hold
And I’m not proud of every choice I made
But I strung together a life of laughter
And lights and nights and I loved every one of ‘em along the way
And oh, you should have seen me, son,
When I was wild and free
You should have seen me, Hon
Your mom was something to see
And now the end is comin’ on near
And I might be finding my final lessons right here
‘Cause you, my Baby, stayed beside me
Through all those changes and hurts and strangers
Like all your stories of power and glory
Your knights on white horses
And kings and powerful forces
And the best story of all
Was the boy who grew, like you, so tall
And oh, pretty soon you’ll see me, Hon,
And I‘ll be wild and free
Just like you now, son
I’ll be something to see
9. Magical Days
In the same way that “Your Family” was a song that helped me to express my feelings toward having my first son, “Magical Days” was a commission song that allowed me to put into words and song my feelings about my little second son, Sammy. This song was a gift from an entire office of folks to one of their ranks, Brooke, who was about to leave to have a baby. So much of what she expressed as she sat for the interview with her new little infant in her arms sounded like all I had been longing to say to Sam in song. So the song practically wrote itself. I remember, when pregnant with my second, thinking there was just no way I’d be able to love another child the way I loved my first. But Sammy was the answer to a thousand questions I never knew I was asking. And through him I learned all over again who I am, and who I could become, out of love for him.
The first time ever I
Saw your face
Little eyes of grace
Everything changed
The first time ever I
Touched your face
Familiar, lovely face
Everything rearranged
Because love,
Sweet as a fingertip
Stronger than battleships
Mysterious as the moon
Because love,
Soft as the look we share
Right as your first breath of air
Mysterious as the moon
Brought me to you
And I find it strange
That these magical days
Mother and baby son
Are days you will not remember
And part of me will stay behind
As you grow
But even so, we’re so entwined
A part of me will be by your side
Forever
And each time, now, ever I
See your face
Some part of me feels my way
Some part of me, calm and brave
Part of me larger than I knew
Because of love
Sweet boy
Because of you
10. Regained
This song offers up the voice of Steve, who had died a few months before the song was written. This song was a father’s day gift, from Steve’s sister to Steve’s dad. The father-son relationship was not always an easy one, and Lisa, Steve’s sister, intuitively sensed that Father’s Day was going to be a very hard day for her dad. She commissioned this song as a way of honoring the day, and the relationship, and of reaching out to her father with a perspective on healing. I was s moved by the idea that perhaps when our life is done we have access to everything that became hard to reach in life. Most especially, the love of our parents.
Not so long ago, before I left this earth
You walked with me out in the dirt
Wasn’t always easy
I wasn’t always who you wanted me to be
Wasn’t always easy
Loving me
But now I’m gone from the places that we shared
The beauty of the farm, sitting on the shed bench watching you there
Wasn’t always easy
To be so near you and not know what to say
Wasn’t always easy
For me
But if you could see me now
No longer fighting against the strain
If you could see me now
No more hiding inside my pain
If you could see me now
All of life’s mysteries laid out plain
If you could see me now
Everything lost to me, regained
You patched up my cars, all those broken parts
And now you’ve given me my vision, patched all my walls
You’ve spoken to my heart
And if you could see me now
No longer fighting against the strain
If you could see me now
No more hiding inside my pain
If you could see me now, the way I see
All of your love for me laid out plain
If you could see me now, Dad
Nothing is lost to me, all your love for me
Regained
(I love you, Dad)
11. Celeste’s Song
Celeste was the eighth and final child in her family and she reached out to me to write this song for her mom on Mother’s Day because she sensed that there might not be too many more Mother’s Days that she would get to share with her aging mom. This song was posted on the Brave Records website and the link was forwarded all over the place! Maybe not all of us come from a family of eight, but something about the sentiments here spoke to many, many people. This was another one of those songs that brought forward a delightful amount of positive mail from around the world! Here’s to mothers everywhere. And here’s to Celeste, and her sweet, sweet heart.
It’s a day of celebration of mothers everywhere
Of the strength it takes to focus in on mothering
But for me this day feels different from other days I’ve spent
I am looking at you carefully; thinking of you back then
Maybe our life wasn’t always like others around us
Maybe hard times and eight children came down sometimes hard upon us
But when I sat beside you with my crayons while you pressed down on your iron
All the world was mine, safe there by your side
Well you worked and you toiled
And if you were scared, I never knew it
You held strong through the storms
You held steadfast straight on through it
And you gave and gave, and you prayed
Dispensed your wisdom, clear and true
And you loved us in ways that bring us back
‘Cause you are the glue
And so the years flash by you and I are once again in a side-by-side place
The world may see you older now, but you’re as young as your faith
And in these later days I feel as if I’m finding you anew
I have learned from your devotion, I am learning still from you (and the way…)
You worked and you toiled
And if you were scared, I never knew it
You held strong through the storms
You held steadfast straight on through it
And you gave and gave, and you prayed
Dispensed your wisdom, clear and true
And you loved us in ways that bring us back
‘Cause you are the glue
I never want to think about a time when you’re not here
I never want to be without your presence, your messages warm and near
But somewhere deep inside me is a place that you will always be
And the close words we share now will always be a part of me
Well you worked and you toiled
And if you were scared, I never knew it
You kept the faith, you found ways
To keep on loving straight on through it
And you gave and gave and you gave
Dispensed your wisdom, clear and true
And you loved me, you really loved me
And you loved me, you always loved me
How do I begin? How do I begin?
To thank you
12. Sophie’s Sleeping Song
Patty had just adopted Sophie from Russia and she invited me to compose a special lullaby for her. The result was this song, which celebrates the beauty of a small child filled with life, and the deep astonishing love that can well up in a mother whose only wish is to see that beauty protected and nurtured into a long, full life. I love the way this song turned out, and I love the fact that it put Sophie to sleep night after night after night. It seemed like a sweet way to complete an album celebrating parents and children.
Well another day has ended
I have laughed again by your side
And there is a message I am sending you, Sophie
As you slowly close your eyes
‘Cause when I watch you dancing, when I see you prancing
Curious, mischievous, vibrant with the joy of this life
I only wish to see that you will always be
Curious, mischievous, vibrant with the joy of this life, Sophie
When I look at the road that has brought me to you
I see life is like a journey
And as you travel your own roads I hope you’ll take with you
All your power, all your magic, all your love from me
‘Cause when I watch you dancing, when I see you prancing
Curious, mischievous, vibrant with the joy of this life
I only wish to see that you will always be
Curious, mischievous, vibrant with the joy of this life, Sophie
You are so loved, you are so special
You are so precious to me
Take your journey into this night
And into the rest of your blessed life, blessed life
Good night
Closing Notes
There has been much talk in these lyric notes about my dear parents and my beloved children. But I feel compelled to make mention here also of the many brave, adventurous individuals who have opened up to me and entrusted me to sing their songs for them. Thank you to each one of you for making so many musical adventures possible, for me, and for all who get to share in this music. And my messages of love end where they always begin, with my husband Jim: the man who has loved me and loved me and loved me, who held the hair back from my eyes when I birthed our sons, and who, with his patience and tenderness, teaches me all about love every day, in a hundred tiny ways that all add up to something gigantic, and powerful and sweet and good. We are a good thing and I love you.
-AHT, December, 2006, Somerville, MA