Cynthia - Story Behind the Song
TOPIC: WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE SUFFERS WITH MENTAL ILLNESS
"CYNTHIA"
HAVE YOU EVER LOVED SOMEONE WHO JOURNEYED TO A PLACE WHERE YOU COULD NOT FOLLOW?
THE SETTING
Bill experienced a sense of blankness and loss when he tried to recall his childhood. He knew from vague feelings and memory fragments that something had been deeply wrong. He felt, too, that in that veiled and painful time, he had not been alone. He had had someone with him, bearing the hurt as he was, and softening it, giving comfort, by her presence and ways of being present to him.
That someone was Cynthia, his older sister, long dead now, with whom he felt a deep, largely unspoken,
connection. Bill wanted this song to acknowledge the emotional connection he experienced (and experiences)
with her. He wanted it to recognize and give credence to a cascade of hard-to-reconcile feelings--responses
to losing Cynthia to an early death, to losing her (and feeling connected with her) as she struggled with
mental illness, and to the complex and contradictory feelings that invite him to both forget and to
remember.
What does it mean, this song asks, to love someone who once stood by your side in your most painful
moments, someone you cannot reach now except through your own heart?
THE SONG
The elements of the song Are Bill's fragmentary memories. Black and white photographs, some actual, some mental. Some memories of ordinary life, dances, days at the beach. Some of his sister's work with others who had fled--the refugees she helped. Some, her anguished disappearances into a self where he could not follow. Cynthia's final departure into death.
Bill wanted his song to Cynthia to be published here. And he asked me to invite listeners who love someone who struggles with mental illness to consider sharing this song. Or if you struggle with it yourself, to hear it.
Help us all to listen.
ABOUT THE ARTIST
ANNA HUCKABEE TULL
Anna Huckabee Tull is an award-winning Singer-Songwriter with five national CD releases to her credit, including the recently-released "Every Day," a collection of songs exploring the relationships between parents and children, young and old. Anna is also a Psychologist and Life Coach, with a Master's Degree in Spiritual Psychology and Applied Psychology. [More about Anna]. She lives in Somerville, Massachusetts with her husband and their two boys. The phenomenal piano performance and arrangement you hear here is the work of collaborator and friend Felicia Brady. Eric Kilburn at Wellspring Sound provided slide guitar and engineering. Percussion is AHT.
LINKS
-
Return to Song of the Month directory for current and previous installments
-
Learn about commissioning a song
-
Purchase individual AHT songs on iTunes
-
Learn about Anna's 5 National CDs
 |